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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel upset that other school mums are still gossiping?

23 replies

Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 15:27

So I created a thread about something that happened a week ago at a school event. In the end I asked mumsnet to delete it as I gave away too much identifying info. I did get some good advice from MN with majority telling me “no one cares and trust me literally an hour later everyone will not be thinking of it as they have their own lives”. I felt better and was gradually forgetting it.

But just now at swimming class a mum from school came up to me and said “oh how did u enjoy the…..(event at school)…” she had a smirk on her face and usually I would think I’m overthinking (I have ADHD/RSD) and I would smile politely and say “yes thank you, what about you?”. But today I did something different: I told her “look just ask what you really want to know!” This is so unlike me if you knew me i’m quiet and shy and don’t talk too much, at this she began telling me she heard from XYZ what happened and wanted to know if I was ok etc. all fake obviously as she wants gossip. So I told her the story and now I’m really angry that she is still thinking of it and others are talking and gossiping.

After a week of reflection it was a complete non issue but then why are people bringing it up? MN told me I’m not important and no one will be thinking of it. I don’t want to rehash it all now but basically at a school event a mother was rude to me and I just simply responded to her rudeness. In the end we were okay and she did apologise and told me I wasn’t directed specially at me but she was directing it at me. Literally a 2 minute conversation but as I don’t get into confrontations it was upsetting for me so I asked MN for advice to which they said the woman was rude to me and totally unnecessary and people won’t be talking about it at all.

im feeling upset again I hate the gossipy b*ch who just brought it all up again for me

OP posts:
AmberSpy · 24/05/2026 15:30

You need to let this go. Yes the other mum was being bitchy by approaching you about this today. But you are (inadvertently) giving her the reaction she wants by getting upset about it. Practise being (or appearing) totally unfazed about the whole thing and she will get bored of trying to provoke you.

Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 15:33

@AmberSpy thank you. I keep myself to myself and don’t really talk to others so I know ZERO gossip about anyone so it feels like they are all talking about me but maybe that’s just the way they all are. Is it the same in your school?

OP posts:
Tableforjoan · 24/05/2026 15:37

Just means nothing else gossip worthy has happened yet.

Also other mum might still be stiring the pot.

Tableforjoan · 24/05/2026 15:38

At my youngest school the gossip is all about a mum who has got herself banned from premises.

Prior to that was the mum who chased a child down the street demanding their address. But she’s old news now banned mum has come to light.

You just need the next drama.

Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 15:38

I wish I had responded by nothing really happened and I’m not sure why people are talking to you about it

OP posts:
W0tnow · 24/05/2026 15:38

They aren’t all like this, no. But in every school you’ll get one or two. Once you’ve pegged them you just know to not share anything with them.

Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 15:39

Tableforjoan · 24/05/2026 15:38

At my youngest school the gossip is all about a mum who has got herself banned from premises.

Prior to that was the mum who chased a child down the street demanding their address. But she’s old news now banned mum has come to light.

You just need the next drama.

Problem is as I don’t do drop offs and picks up same time as others (breakfast and after school clubs I use) I won’t ever know the next gossip so in my head it’s my story as number one! Sorry I’m typing quickly - hope that makes sense?

OP posts:
Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 15:40

W0tnow · 24/05/2026 15:38

They aren’t all like this, no. But in every school you’ll get one or two. Once you’ve pegged them you just know to not share anything with them.

What shall I say tomorrow if anyone asks? There’s a class party! Please someone tell me exactly what to say please

OP posts:
PoppieCock · 24/05/2026 15:40

What's the chances of you getting this thread deleted too after people take the time to reply?

Just let it go and don't ever explain yourself to these people again.

Tableforjoan · 24/05/2026 15:41

Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 15:40

What shall I say tomorrow if anyone asks? There’s a class party! Please someone tell me exactly what to say please

Just wave it off as it’s nothing. Oh that silly thing has nothing to talk about there.

Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 15:41

PoppieCock · 24/05/2026 15:40

What's the chances of you getting this thread deleted too after people take the time to reply?

Just let it go and don't ever explain yourself to these people again.

I’m not going to as this time I won’t mention ANY details other than what I’ve given which are not remotely identifying

OP posts:
bunglebear5 · 24/05/2026 15:44

Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 15:40

What shall I say tomorrow if anyone asks? There’s a class party! Please someone tell me exactly what to say please

Just say ‘ah it’s all forgotten’ and bat it off like the non event it was. If people are still gossiping about this a week later they truly must lead very dull lives.

Endofyear · 24/05/2026 15:44

Honestly, people gossip but it blows over! Please don't give it any more headspace, the woman was rude and she apologised and you move on. There'll be some other drama soon for the gossips to talk about! Rise above it.

HintofVintagePink · 24/05/2026 15:45

Gently…move on. Does anyone actually care what other parents on the school run think of them? This baffles me. Just smile and say whatever makes you comfortable - it has no consequence in the real world.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 24/05/2026 15:46

Goodness me. Just ignore this rubbish! Why respond like this? You are the gift that keeps giving! Say “ok thanks” if you want to stop anything being said. I’d probably say “how did you think it went”? Hit it back over the net! Honestly - who cares! Have you not got anyone normal at your school?

Anyahyacinth · 24/05/2026 15:48

Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 15:38

I wish I had responded by nothing really happened and I’m not sure why people are talking to you about it

That would have been better. By rehashing it...you've become the gossip you were finding difficult about the other person.

All you can do is learn. Stock phrase "oh it's all done now" etc ..

Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 15:49

Anyahyacinth · 24/05/2026 15:48

That would have been better. By rehashing it...you've become the gossip you were finding difficult about the other person.

All you can do is learn. Stock phrase "oh it's all done now" etc ..

If I’m being totally honest I was interested to hear what she heard as my mind it making it bigger so I wanted to know if it really was as bad as my mind is telling me at the time I thought it was

OP posts:
OnGoldenPond · 24/05/2026 15:54

Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 15:40

What shall I say tomorrow if anyone asks? There’s a class party! Please someone tell me exactly what to say please

If anyone asks just laugh and say, crikey are you still talking about that? You need to get out more! Then just change the subject and move on.

Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 16:05

I’m actually feeling really low right now thinking about this. Why did that horrible woman bring it all back up for me at swimming club today? Kids gone to MIL home and I’m sat here debating whether I should have some drinks now to calm myself and to stop being upset. I really feel low can someone please help me? I do tend to get these depressive moods.

I’m really dreading going to the party tomorrow now too. They will all be speaking about me if hit to my face then definitely behind my back. Swimming pool mum will be there tomorrow too

OP posts:
Error404FucksNotFound · 24/05/2026 16:10

If anyone mentions it just brush it off by saying oh its fine, we talked it through and its a non issue.

Annie2163 · 24/05/2026 16:21

Error404FucksNotFound · 24/05/2026 16:10

If anyone mentions it just brush it off by saying oh its fine, we talked it through and its a non issue.

Yes I’ll go that. How can I stop feeling upset about it?

OP posts:
MeetMeOnTheCorner · 24/05/2026 16:56

@Annie2163Why does it matter so much what people think? That’s the big issue for you isn’t it? Why can you not shrug this off? Most of us realise we are yesterday’s news and don’t keep digging the hole. You seem to and wonder why people bite? You seem suspicious of everyone and think everyone is rude. I’d just stop engaging and accept you need to worry far less. Are you really the centre of attention for a week?

W0tnow · 24/05/2026 17:50

bunglebear5 · 24/05/2026 15:44

Just say ‘ah it’s all forgotten’ and bat it off like the non event it was. If people are still gossiping about this a week later they truly must lead very dull lives.

Exactly that. A wave of the hand and eye roll. “Oh it’s a non event” then change the subject.

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