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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I might know more than my medical team?

28 replies

Fluffybuns88 · 24/05/2026 12:04

I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant after 8 losses and years of secondary infertility. I have some complex medical issues such as an unspecified auto immune disorder.

From the very start of this pregnancy I've had to fight to get listened to by medical professionals, had to ask several times for asprin and progesterone which was recommended by a consultant years ago, the hospital have lost all of my medical history, the midwife reffered me to the mental health team behind my back at booking and told me 6 of my losses didn't count due to them being before 8 weeks.

I've spent months trying to see a consultant because they are pushing hard for a vbac but refuse to tell me why this would be the best option for me as an individual and kept getting told they could refer me tonthe mental health team because there's no record of my medical diagnosises.

I have insulin driven PCOS and had to advocate for a second GD test as they originally tested at 16 weeks, started metformin for borderline sugars (nothing crazy) upped them after 4 days, tried to put me one insulin 2 days later, not enough time for it to work and weren't following guidelines because they thought I'd been on it longer (metformin is now controlling sugars).

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago they offered heparin and I had what I believe is an immune reaction, flared my inflammatory conditions, significant bruising, bleeding gums, petechiae all over and I felt like I'd been hit by a train. I also has reduced fetal movement and accelerated fetal heart rate, I stopped them against advice until I'd spoken to someone more knowledgeable, this was the right decision according to the relayed message from the consultant who can't see me for 2 weeks so any tests they do will likely show normal.

At no point has anyone taken me seriously when I've told them that it might be worth considering my individual health conditions before railroading me into standard treatment which I've accepted everytime, each visit I'm being fobbed off that I'm mentally unwell (I'm not, but I do have several physical conditions) luckily I've seen a member of the medical team that has removed the mental health flag off my notes as she believed it was impacting my care.)

I'm super frustrated and just want someone in my team to listen to my concerns properly and make decisions based on me as an individual and not a guideline.

AIBU?

OP posts:
FeralWoman · 25/05/2026 13:39

And meantime MW is worried OP isn't coping, hence referral to MH services.

@MedSchoolRat The problem with that is that it’s not that they believe OP about her health issues and want to support her. They disbelieve her and think she’s crazy because they didn’t see the symptom she experienced or the test results didn’t show anything so she must be making it up or imagining it. Instead of believing the patient they’ll happily write her off as crazy and ignore her genuine health issues. This is how my DH gets treated. Less so now that he has a diagnosis but it’s a syndrome so no singular definitive test result that shows what is wrong with him. Instead it’s elimination of many possible causes and looking at that along with his collection of symptoms.

RumPidgeon · 25/05/2026 14:13

So sorry for your losses OP 💐 and well done for advocating for yourself.

Have you got all your knowledge documented and in case notes? Even in a folder you take to every appointment? I found this to be very useful.

Keep pushing to be referred to a specialist as it sounds your antenatal team is out of its depth. Fight for your healthy baby!

RumPidgeon · 25/05/2026 14:14

Also: with your hormonal issues don’t let them push for a VBAC. Ask for a clear and written statement why they refuse to listen to you (patient choice) and schedule a C-section! @Fluffybuns88

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