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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Worried about my nephew

3 replies

ThisPoliteTurtle · 23/05/2026 23:51

My nephew is 7 years old with moderate hearing loss. He wears cochlear implants. He was born prematurely - should have been October, ended up 30th August. I wanted him to defer a year but we were advised not to do this so he's now in year 3.

He's had a lot of support but for various reasons his parents are lacking: Dad is not interested, Mum is trying her best but is angry most of the time and can be harsh when she speaks to him, although loving at others. She also has learning difficulties.

He is very shy, coming out of his shell. I spend lots of time with him, as do my wife, his other aunt and uncle. wider family. We do plenty of extra curricular activities and extra tuition but I feel we are still letting him down.

He's behind in some areas of KS2 and my heart breaks for him when he's in sports groups. He's the boy in the corner wanting to get involved but too scared or not strong enough to keep up. He used to jump into my arms rather than play with the other kids although that has improved and he says he enjoys the sports clubs he's in.

At home he's a happy cheeky kid.
I think there may also be some audio processing delay.

I've been meaning to write this post for a while. I don't want to slag off his parents. I want to lay the best foundations for him for adulthood but I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
CommentHere · 24/05/2026 00:04

Have you official responsibility for your nephew? From your post I in understand that that dad is perhaps not around and the mum has learning difficulties. Is she unable to make a decision for her son?

I find it odd the way you refer to your nephew, as in "we" and "I wanted".

Perhaps sports groups are not suitable for him? There's plenty of other activities like Art, drama, solo sports, scouts,

Littledidsheknow · 24/05/2026 00:09

Have you spoken to his school about how best to support him? Is he given extra help there, any SEND provision?

You and your family are most definitely NOT letting him down. You sound like amazing caregivers.

ThisPoliteTurtle · 24/05/2026 00:16

CommentHere · 24/05/2026 00:04

Have you official responsibility for your nephew? From your post I in understand that that dad is perhaps not around and the mum has learning difficulties. Is she unable to make a decision for her son?

I find it odd the way you refer to your nephew, as in "we" and "I wanted".

Perhaps sports groups are not suitable for him? There's plenty of other activities like Art, drama, solo sports, scouts,

@CommentHere
No, parents have responsibility, I do all the school communication because mum doesn't always understand. I say 'I' because I know about the issues August born children can have and I couldn't understand why a premature child had to go straight into reception. Mum wasn't aware.

@Littledidsheknow Thank you. Yes I am in touch regularly with the school. They are great but I don't know if there's anything else they can do.

OP posts:
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