Perimenopause Hell

[HerbyWitch]

A blatant posting-for-traffic AIBU post.

Perimenopause. Ugh. I'm just turned 45. I've been in peri, IMO, for around 8 years. There is a history of early menopause in my family. My grandma had her last period, ever, aged 46. My mum was pretty much done, after she had my younger sister, aged 43. My older sister was fully "done" - aged 46.

Doctor is constantly dismissing me. I've got night sweats, constant hot flashes, palpitations and ectopic beats, painful joints, extreme fatigue, periods are every 21 days and last, at best, 2 days of light flow and have been that way for over 5 years. Insane anxiety, waking at 3am...

How the fuck can I get the Dr. to listen to me and prescribe me HRT? Help, please.

Your GP shouldn't be refusing HRT. Have they said why?
I was 44 when I started but it took me 3 visits to the drs to get there. They didn't refuse but did try to discourage for no good reason. Had to refer to the NICE guidelines.

Change doctor. I have similar symptoms but to a lesser scale, and my doctor has been brilliant. I'm also in my 40s.

Don't carry on struggling, even the 3am wake ups alone are just horrible. I have that too.

I think there us a rule called Jess' law (?) Where if you go to the doctors 3 times with the same symptoms, they have to do a review of your medical needs. Try approaching them with this.

Thanks for responding.

Initially, she said no because I had been having runs of ectopic beats for months; she said she couldn't put me on hormones until a heart problem had been ruled out. So I had a 24 hour monitor and it came back saying it was benign PVCs and likely hormonal. Now she is saying i'm too young, despite being 45 and with extensive family history of early meno.

Yes, go to another doctor, or have a private consultation and they send a letter to your GP.

I saw the same Dr. about 18 months ago when I was having a nervous breakdown and I feel like she is just dismissing everything I am feeling now as "anxiety".

If you can afford go to the BUPA menopause service. They got me on the right dose and my GO does the repeats - including testosterone. I only had to pay for one year. Otherwise insist on seeing someone else. Or try and be more insistent if that’s possible?

I can't afford it, I wish I could, but thank you for the suggestion :-)

You need to see a different doctor. It’s totally unacceptable that you’ve been refused HRT. I’ve been on it since I was 42 so you’re not ‘too young’ at 45. You also shouldn’t have to go private. Does your surgery have a nurse practitioner you can see? Or a locum GP who might be more understanding?

Before 45 they generally try and talk you out of it but they should put you on HRT no questions asked once you reach 45.
I'd definitely go to a different doctor, otherwise make a note of all your symptoms and print off the NICE guidelines to show her.

Thanks all.

I'm not great at advocating for myself, and I always feel as though once they look at my record/notes and see "breakdown", (or whatever it's termed medically), that I am dismissed as anxious.

Def try and see another Dr (can't believe they are ignoring you).
Only other thing I can think of is to tell them you have started missing periods off and on.

Get a new doc and keep changing until someone listens to you, and has solutions. My nurse practioner who started me on HRT when I started menopause was awesome, then she retired. I went to two different Gynos over the next couple years (60-something old frumpy female docs) , and they were dismissive ("live with it" was their mindset. I read through every single profile on my HMO doc list, and only one stood out since he mentioned menopause care specifically. I was hesitant to go to a male doc since I've been partial to only going to docs who share my lady parts. He is beyond awesome. He ordered panels and ultra sounds to help track where my body is at, and increased my estradiol. Don't settle, get a doc you love who wants to help you.
Also, even for non-athletes, the book 'Next Level' by Dr. Stacy Simms is brilliant. I started Holy Basil and it is a game changer for my anxiety and sleep.
At 56 years old, having friends ahead of me and behind me in this journey, I think we are on the verge of change with menopause care. It is rare a doc is trained in this area and it shows. I hope you can find one who will help you. Women experience menopause differently, and have to advocate for themselves. I had no idea anxiety was part of my hormone changes and felt I was losing my mind since that was never part of who I was. We also need to share our experiences so we feel supported, and the next generation will be better for it. Best of luck to you.

I think then need to be more insistent or change doctor.

I had to wait til 47 on the NHS to start HRT but had struggled since 45.
Your best bet is to go private or switch doctors. But that can be seen as a red flag unfortunately.

The book I mentioned is great resource to learn about alternatives to HRT. The full title: Next Level: Your Guide to Kicking Ass, Feeling Great, and Crushing Goals Through Menopause and Beyond by Stacy Simms. Dr. Mary Claire Haver is a frequent guest on podcasts, and is another great resource. I hope you can find some helpful information and find some relief.

The herb that helps with sleep & anxiety, recommended in the book I mentioned is ($13 for a 45 day supply on Amazon - many other brands available too. Best of luck to you and keep having conversations to see if others who have gone through it have other suggestions.

My old GP surgery was like this over increasing my levothyroxine when my TSH was 4.5 and I felt like shit
I changed to another surgery who did 2 sides of A4 bloods, upped my levo immediately
I also finally got investigated for endo (previous GP surgery shrugged and said nothing they could do) and spent 8.5hrs in theatre to sort out the mess as it was now stage 4 deep infiltrating and everywhere

when I went in for HRT at 41, they said “gel or patch? Oh and you need vaginal oestrogen too”

it’s been like night and day. They also do evening and weekend appointments!

Surely someone has got to help you. Why can't they understand how we are affected by this and how we need to get back some kind of life.
I agree, just say you can't go on and that you need a review.

I’m exactly the same OP, my mum had last period at 46 and I’ve been having symptoms since around 40 (43 now). I’m afraid I ended up going private. You’d think all the press and the work of Davina etc around Peri would have helped but it’s still a shit show.

it’s expensive upfront (I was lucky enough to get it through private healthcare) but you can then move your HRT prescription to the nhs and it’s £20 for a whole year.

You can buy HRT online you know. Not saying you should, but it's an option. But I think a better option would be to change doctor.

God its really shocking to hear that some doctors still have this attitude to HRT. My surgery has its faults but they were brilliant about this.

You do need to push OP. Your doctor is going against general medical opinion and NICE guidelines but you need to make a fuss sometimes in the NHS to get listened tp.

How about Qlaira?