I'll get the salmon

[wand3rer]

Any tiny little habits that make you feel a bit more “put together”?

For example, in a restaurant I’ll just say “I’ll get the salmon” instead of reading out the whole dish name exactly as it’s written on the menu (“salmon with roasted potatoes and vegetables”).

It’s such a ridiculously small thing but it makes me feel smoother 😎😂

What else?

It sounds rude to me tbh.
By saying 'put together' do you mean you are trying to sound polished?

'I'll get' sounds American. Its the same vein as when some try to sound well travelled by saying 'we are doing London/Paris/Amsterdam this summer'. I'm often tempted to ask what exactly are they planning to do to the city in question!

A now cancelled comedian made a joke that if he’s been in a car accident it’s unlikely those pants are going to be clean!

OP - by put together do you mean ‘feel like a grown up’ or feeling confident? I’m not sure what you mean in this context.

“Please may/can I have the Salmon” is what I would say, “get” seems American and nonsensical because surely then you would just go and get it yourself and not wait for your waiter to bring it!

Or is a grizzly bear.

Someone used to know would say, ‘could I get the xyz?’

I found it rude

Sure you do.

I haven't read very far so excuse me if this has been dealt with, but what on earth is all this 'please may I have?' nonsense? You're an adult ordering food in a restaurant, not Oliver Twist. 'Can I have...please,' or just, 'The salmon, please,' is far preferable to either 'get' or begging.

I'll add one more thought to the 'may I have' discussion.

I'm not a school girl asking permission from a parent or teacher, 'may' can sound both submissive and a bit performative. As in I know I’m allowed but I’m showing everyone that I have the manners and etiquette to phrase it this way. The oddness is that I am the customer and know that I may, so feels contrived.
That can come across as mildly patronising rather than genuinely polite.

Disclaimer, people naturally speak however they’re used to, and that’s completely fine. English is a fascinating language so many different ways of saying the same thing, often due to old fashioned class markers. Dinner, supper or tea anyone?

Yes!! This!

It's called being polite, @unistress . I'd say 'The salmon, please'. 'Could I have the salmon please' or 'I'd like the salmon, please.' I wouldn't say 'I'll get the salmon' because it sounds like I'm about to fetch it.

What if there are multiple salmon/chicken/etc dishes

What's the consensus then? What is the perfect contemporary polite but not contrived British way to order that salmon?

I was always brought up to say “please may I have or I would like x please” to a waiter or waitress.

but feel free to sound loud and American as you think you sound more “ put together”

Yes why would you... unless there were two chicken dishes..

@anxiouslywaiting8 , you say 'the roast chicken for me please' or 'I'll have the chicken pie please'.

@PleasantPedant Umm - I agree with you and literally quoted what you say you would say as the 'correct' form. I also said I don't like 'I'll get..' but it's fine in the USA and if people have picked it up from films etc so what? Fwiw, I was a waitress nearly 30 years ago and the odd person would say 'I'll get...' and it fucked me off as I knew I would be the one bloody getting it. The fact that people are still frothing about it now tells me it hasn't caught on all that much and perhaps never will, especially going by the number of weirdos on here who seem to think begging like a child and saying 'please may I have...' is the way to go. I don't recall people saying that when I waitressed but I think if they had, in my head I would have been, 'You can have what you bloody want as long as you pay, no need to beg.'

I no longer know what I was trying to say, and I’m very worried about being completely misunderstood again 😂

It’s not about confidence per se. It’s more about going through life with ease: ordering your food efficiently (without saying the full dish name), paying smoothly (without rummaging for your card in your bag), remembering small details about other people’s lives (as @PluckedFromThinAir said), etc.

The little things ❤️

I’m not sure this counts but I set my coffee maker up the night before and then get up half an hour earlier than everyone else to enjoy two mug fulls while I browse the news/Mumsnet and do the crossword

also, always have a spare roll of dog poo bags in my bag so I never have that mortifying moment when the dog decides to do an indecent number of poos and I’ve run out.

This counts.

I’ve started a much better skin care routine recently. It’s not rocket science and I don’t stick rigidly to it, but it makes me feel I’m winning at life.

Put together is IKEA and allen keys.

To go where? To go is American. In the UK it’s a take away.

Why would you say ‘get’ the salmon. It’s a bit rude.

Well there’s a good question - when we order from deliveroo (other rip off delivery companies are available) we say ‘shall we order a take away?’ But we are obviously not going to the restaurant to take it away. Calling it a food delivery makes it sound like the groceries.

so what is the answer!

This not only counts but is perfection.

Poor OP. The idea for the thread is great.

Having nit picked about 'get', 'may I' and all that, I'll embarrass myself by not being able to think of anything that makes me feel 'put together' or on top of things. Probably because that is the opposite to how I'm feeling right now.

@wand3rer tell us more things that make you feel like that and let's get this thread back on track.

This is really interesting that you think asking for something by saying ‘may I have’ is begging like a child.

I have a varied social circle - and the ones who standout to me are the ones who are rude to staff in restaurants - who never say please. I have never given a second thought to the ones who say may I have (and a lot do).

You clearly view things very differently - ordering food about asserting control - putting yourself in a dominant position. I don’t see the need - I don’t feel I am begging like a child when I ask a waiter for something on the menu. But really, really interesting viewpoint.