AIBU to feel fed up with my husband's constant gaming and screen time?

[Greyblankie]

getting really sick of DH’s obsession with gaming. He works full time … fair enough but he’s straight on the computer at 5:30pm. Comes off for dinner at 7pm and then spends most of the evening playing solitaire on his phone. At 10pm he’s back on the computer again until midnight. We rarely go to bed together so rarely have sex.
if he’s not at work he’s on the computer all day. Take today for example, I take the dog for a walk early whilst he’s still in bed, when I get back he’s on the computer. He reluctantly comes off for an hour and then is back on it at 8:30am. 3 hours go by and I start reminding him that we need to go out (we didn’t really “need” to, I just wanted us to DO something. We go out at 12pm … out for an hour and get back … he’s straight back on the computer. We’re going out again at 1:30 for his son’s birthday so that will be him on the computer now until 1:30pm. Then when we get back at 4pm ish he’ll be straight back on computer. It’s driving me fucking mad. He’s in his 50s if that makes a difference.

Doesn’t sound like much of a life.
Go and live yours.

Sounds ridiculous I couldn’t cope with that.

It won't change op. You don't mention children, but if you stay and have kids you'll be trapped with this. If you stay and don't have kids then this is your life and your marriage for as long as you can stand it

You never hear the same behaviours from female gamers. I am a gamer and fit it perfectly around normal family life with DD barely even noticing.

Totally ridiculous. My DH is a gamer but it is 100% done around family life and not prioritised over going out together / watching something on TV together! He definitely needs more balance.

Is he chatting to someone online? I find it hard to believe he’s just sat there playing solitaire for hours.

Doesn’t sound like a relationship really.

How old is his son - an adult?

All kids have left home so it’s just the two of us. I totally agree with you, I have a game I like to play … I go on it for an hour in a morning (before he gets up) and sometimes an hour in an evening … that’s it!

I doubt he’s chatting to anyone, I don’t think he’s got the conversation in him 🙄

This was my life for 10 years.

I divorced him and am now with a man who goes to bed with me every night.

I realised life is too short to basically be single in a marriage as his relationship was with his computer.

Time to make a stand OP, good luck!

@Greyblankie My DH was exactly the same and it started to get worse by the time he was in his 40's. It's an addiction, like alcoholism or drugs. And just like substances of abuse, gaming will be the single most important thing in his life. My DH even ramped it up further by connecting with women gamers online, so you can guess the rest. And, just like you, I thought he was absolutely the least likely womaniser in the world - I mean, he really was. I have no answers OP, except that there's nothing you can do to stop him. All the crying, pleading, begging and threats in the world won't change him. Only he can do that, and they rarely do. Your best bet is to get out if you can.

I’m a bit torn. On the one hand why can’t he just chill out at home gaming in between plans? It’s not like you are being left solo parenting or anything like that…. But on the other hand I wouldn’t like feeling like a nag trying to get him out of the house or the alternative of doing everything alone.

My husband is completely addicted to his phone. He doesn't even look up sometimes, from morning till night. If I ask, he gets shitty with me. He wonders why we hardly ever have sex, but I'm not sure how much of a relationship you can have with someone when they don't even look up at you.
Sorry I can't be of help, but I'm personally considering my options as my life is unhappy and I'm starting to feel like i deserve someone who takes the time to look at me 🙃

Sound like he loves gaming/screens more than you ?
I would be horrified by this too

Thing is I know I could just go out on my own but it wouldn’t “teach him a lesson” - he’d prefer it

What's the point in the relationship?

Yes, if he doesn’t want to talk to you and would prefer you not to be there, again I don’t think this is a relationship any more.

What’s the point of him? He’s not interested in spending any time with you?

Not solo parenting but solo living. No conversation, laughter, joint anything very much. Just lonely, I should think.

You don't have a relationship by the sound of it. You just happen to live in the same house.

It sounds as though he is addicted.

If he doesn't want to change you need to decide whether you are willing to put up with how he is or whether life would be better off without him.

@Greyblankie tell him that perhaps the two of you should file for divorce so he can marry his computer?

He would bore me to tears. I couldn't ve with someone whose only interest was sitting on a computer.

My DH and his constant phone use drives me crazy. Always glued to it! But he does at least have ither hobbies!

I divorced a man similarly addicted to computer games and I genuinely don't think it made the slightest difference to his life.

If it’s easier logistically and financially to stay living together, do, but otherwise just your life as if you were single. Make plans, he can tag along if he wants. Whatever. Frankly, I think I could have paraded a string of Argentinian lovers through the front door and I’m not convinced my ex would have noticed.