Emotional abuse in youth sport

[TheodorasTheatricals]

I competed in sport at a fairly a high level growing up and looking back I realise we were regularly subjected to emotional abuse from coaches. Shouting, personal insults, mind games and public humiliation was just completely normal.

At the time, my parents didn’t really step in or seem to question it as they assumed it was what was needed to succeed and completely trusted the adults in charge and my friends' parents were the same.

Unfortunately, it has left a lasting impression and I do feel quite conflicted about organised sports and similar activities for my own dc. Dd1 (5) has recently started gymnastics and drama club and, I suppose due to my own history, I feel a bit cautious.

Does this culture of abuse still exist in competitive sport (or say child acting, dance, music, drama, military cadets), or have safeguarding rules and policies genuinely changed things?

YABU - this is no longer acceptable and simply doesn't happen anymore

YANBU - this does still happen despite safeguarding measures

My kiddo does 2 sports and I've not noticed this, at least not at his level. The coach will call out bad behaviour but there's no shaming or berating them or anything. Both team websites have links to safeguarding policies etc

I dont know if there's more of it at higher levels though

I’m sure it does still happen in places, especially at the higher end of achievement.

The NSPCC has resources for sports clubs and for parents whose children attend such clubs.

thecpsu.org.uk

My DD has attended a drama school for 4 years, and skips off happily to it each week. She’s almost 15 and has grown so much in confidence and absolutely loves her singing, dancing and acting teachers. She’s never had a bad word to say about them or their treatment of students, and she’s a sensitive soul so I know that she’d have reacted quite severely if ever berated or humiliated.

On the other hand, my DS did football for 4 years. The first 3 were great, but 1 coach left which left only the stressed out one. He did show a lot of anger and shouted at the kids. My son quit because of him. He took the fun out of the game.

So, I would say it really depends on the person in charge and their ability to teach kids in a respectful manner. Some, do an absolutely fabulous job even at high level, others should be nowhere near children.

DS has played rugby and done cadets. Both are fine. The rugby coaches shout quite a bit during competitive matches but that's to be expected as they are trying to convey information quickly in the heat of the moment. Water off a duck's back to most of the kids but there's always, say, 5% of parents who think it's bullying.

I think it depends on the sport. My daughter did gymnastics and it was awful. The coaches were not nice to the children at all and even though she was very good we pulled her own quickly. She now does climbing and it is much more friendly, but I am careful with who coaches her. My son does football it’s pretty chilled, under 9s but I know some coaches are very intense.