Should I be doing more for a very bright Year 2 child?

[lemoncurdcupcake]

Posting here for traffic.

DS7 has been repeatedly described as bright. I've not really thought too much of it before but today a new neighbour whose child joined DS's class this week said 'I told the head I lived on your road, I hear you have a very clever boy, I almost got the impression he's too clever for the teachers!'. I didn't know what to say 🫣 But it got me to wondering if I should be taking more notice and perhaps doing something about it?

I think when I was a child he'd have been described as precocious. Not sure that's a term used often anymore. He's mature for his age, articulate, logical, LOVES reading and goes through books faster than we can find them. He's interested in an array of topics and I match/encourage/facilitate his interests with books, games, podcasts, he loves the horrible history and other non-fiction yoto cards, nature and space documentaries, that sort of thing. None of it feels forced or chore-like, we just both enjoy discovering new things and chatting about what we've learned.

He questions everything (which can be absolutely exhausting both for us as parents and sometimes I think his teacher 😅) and has an incredible memory for detail. I feel like I'm living with a mini barrister. But being my eldest child I just thought this was normal for his age.

I guess my question is, should I be doing something with this?! Or are we fine to just continue as we are doing, keep providing him with resources and information for the topics he's interested in etc. He loves a trip to the library as much as skateboarding or climbing trees in the park and that feels right considering he's only 7.

I don't think we're talking 'gifted' (though honestly how would I know unless someone put it in those terms?). I just think he's quite a logical, articulate little boy with a good memory and interested in a lot of different topics. However, I am someone who isn't particularly ambitious and I don't want to inadvertently let him down by coasting along if I should be doing something additional with the information that he's particularly bright?

YABU: you should be doing more (if this, then what should we be doing?)

YANBU: he's 7, let him discover the world at his own pace without making it too serious.

I would just continue as you are. Encourage his interests. But let him be 7 and climb the tree if he wants

I doubt he’s too clever for the teachers 😂

Humblebrag alert

I can't imagine any Head talking to another parent about a child in that way.

It sounds as if you're doing just fine. Loving learning is surely what counts at this age.

I feel it's a bit unprofessional of the HT to discuss a child's ability with another parent though. Would they have done the same if your child wasn't progressing as well?

@Bumbumbumbumbum2026 hard to say tone on here but she said it in a way people do when talking about precocious kids...like 'too clever for his own good' sort of thing.

I've sometimes felt he's a bit bored by lessons when they're easy for him, and I know he can be exasperating at home sometimes with all the questions/finding verbal loopholes etc so can imagine if that happened in a classroom it would be irritating. Currently working on teaching him tact and when not to correct people 🫣

If he's really bright then continue to facilitate his interests but honestly, I'd see academic success as a given provided he continues to get the right support and focus on making him a rounded person. Plenty of really smart kids can't work in a team, or have poor interpersonal skills etc. Get him in a team sport, get him learning a musical instrument, send him to Beavers so he gets some practical skills.

I say this as a former "gifted" child who knew most of the contents of the encyclopedia by the middle of primary school but really struggled socially.

What are his secondary school options? I'd think more about that than about changing anything now.

Boredom is a genuine issue, but if the school/teachers are on it, then he should be ok. We had a real mix in primary. One teacher was great and we had her for two years, another, we weren't that sad that part of the year was lost to covid.

There are quite a few very able children who can do all of that. There's no reason to assume that a very able child would be any less able than their peers in other areas.

@Swissmeringue thanks for sharing. He does already struggle with friendships his own age at times and often gravitates more to conversations with adults. He does a martial art and a team sport once a week. Was really helpful for DH and I to have friends/hobbies outside of school especially later in life when school social highs and lows can feel like everything, so both wanted to encourage that early.

Keep doing what you’re doing. DD was diagnosed as G+T at that age due to having a dyslexia assessment not because we wanted her to be diagnosed G+T. Apparently very high IQ often coincides with a ND.

DD is studying something hard at uni and is still very interested and deeply knowledgeable on a wide array of topics, other than that it isn’t much different to our other children. It kind of starts levelling out as other kids develop in their particular skill areas.

I had a brother who people used to refer to in the same way. What he did was treated with breathless awe, although I can't imagine any person saying a child was too clever for the teachers,
What he was interested in became a real project for my parents to push him to display his knowledge and they would talk about how brilliant he was.

Result was he was rude to the teachers, who he thought were beneath him, and couldn't relate to his peers because he thought they wouldn't understand him, so there was no point in trying. He (and my parents) always found an excuse if anyone did better why he was really better than them.
He got good, not outstanding results at GCSEs/A-levels and found degree a real struggle because he'd always believed that he was so naturally good that others couldn't touch him, and he was surrounded by people as good or better.

I think the worst thing for him was to treat him as terribly clever; it separated him from his peers and made him different. They were so busy proving that he was cleverer than everyone else that they didn't worry that he had no friends.
And actually he was bright, but he wasn't that amazingly clever person they thought, and as he got older and it became more obvious, he got more miserable as he only had that as an identity.

If he's interested in something for himself, then fine, you can take him to the library etc. But don't push him to do more.
My ds was interested in WWII, I remember the year 6 teacher laughing that when they were studying WWII the rest of the form were turning to him and asking if things were right, and they'd believe him over the teacher - and the teacher said he had been always right when she'd checked.
A child, who wants to learn about a subject can learn more than their teachers, but that doesn't make them cleverer than the teachers. We did take him to museums, and he got books from the library, but it was done on his terms, not ours, and that's important.

It's not unusual for bright children to correct a teacher. What is unusual is for them to be unambiguously correct, because, ultimately, they are 7 and whilst they might be working even 4 or more years ahead of their peers, they aren't degree educated. Believe me, the teachers can handle it and if the teacher doesn't go into the ins and outs of something it'll be down to time management, following the curriculum and holding the interest of an entire class, not because they have a lesser understanding of the subject matter than a small child.

Because there are far more (in my experience) very bright children who do struggle to fit in and relate to their peers than those who find both easy. Op was asking how to best support her very bright son, I was sharing my opinion and experience that often, when a child finds academics easy, it's beneficial to focus on other things to help them develop.

My own DD for example is very academic, but really struggles with coordination, we've found piano lessons have helped.

@WoollyandSarah there are single sex ones which are highly regarded as more academic, and a mixed sex which has a good reputation but not so reveared. We're nowhere near any private schools and couldn't afford them even if we were.

So far we'd planned to let him choose as I feel like he'd academically do well wherever he goes so it was more whether he wanted to be with all boys or not. But most ambitious parents seem to push for the single sex ones.

He was chatting about it with some classmates the other day and I was pretty surprised. There were 3 options for secondary in my town and I don't think I thought about it at all until teachers started talking about it in year 5!

The best thing to do is work on the things he isn't so good at - social stuff or physical stuff or creative stuff. It is really important for children who spoke through academic work to find somethings hard, otherwise they don't build the skills they need to persevere and wrangle with problems and deal with failure.

Broaden his interests and look at things like music/music theory, other languages, theatres, museums, concerts as well as lots of reading materials of different types and genres.

Personally I would be uncomfortable with a school discussing my child with another parent in that sort of detail.

1000 piece jigsaws

Rubix cubes

Harder books

Difficult Lego sets

Learn violin/piano

No but if parents continue to tell their children they are gifted, you can end up with smug, annoying, precocious kids.

As the parent of a highly gifted child who is now 24 and struggling with life, I strongly suggest introducing your child to things they are not good at. They need to learn to fail as well as succeed.

I really didn't mean to give the impression the teachers are incapable. I'm way more likely to be the parent who tries to help her kid understand that teachers have a limited amount of time/resources etc and he absolutely needs to learn that it's not appropriate for him to have the last word rather than the adult sitting at home insulting the teachers intelligence.

I mentioned it because it's one thing for people/teachers to say to me that he's bright, it's another for a parent I don't know that well to say she's already heard about DS through the grapevine. It woke me up I guess and got me asking the question whether we should be doing more with it. So far I really like the suggestions that whilst he finds learning fun and interesting, if that's something that comes to him easily then focusing on stuff he finds trickier (like not always being right and friendships with people his own age) is likely to set him up well for future happiness.

That's a really good point. Thank you!

If someone said that about mine-the “too clever for the teachers” thing-I’d wonder if he was being a bit of a pain in the neck. Sorry.

I had similar thoughts about my ds so know where you're coming from op. You sound like you're doing fine! Just support his interests, encourage him to read a range of books, maybe do some maths games. But all in a chilled way.

I was clever as a child and ended up being a bit arrogant, as well as struggling with working hard (because I never had to) and failure (because I didn’t fail anything until I was 23 and failed my driving test).

I have a bright DS the same age as yours and he has started learning a musical instrument. It’s great for him because he doesn’t find it easy, has to work hard and has to cope with the teacher saying he’s done things wrong. I wish I’d had similar as a child. I often think with bright or talented children you have to pay attention to their character more than anything else.

@CurlewKate honestly I do not disagree! The tone was a bit 'too clever for his own good' rather than wholly complimentary. As I said he can be exasperating for me as a parent when he's in mini barrister mode and I can imagine teachers not having time for it in a class of nearly 30 kids. I'm already working on improving his skills about when thoughts/opinions should stay inside his head. Find myself saying 'does it feel more important to be right or be polite right now?' and 'you might be winning your argument but you're losing the kindess here' when he's running rings around his sibling! But at the same time I don't want to curb his interests/intellect you know? Hoping there's a middle ground which creates a well rounded, knowledgeable person who enjoys learning without giving the impression of considering themselves intellectually superior.