Visitors with untrained dog

[sleepykt]

AIBU to refuse visits from someone with a dog that is not house trained unless they come without the dog? Every time the dog has visited it has been put in some kind of nappy but it still poos and pees somehow in my house. A new style of nappy has been suggested.

I have suggested they visit and leave the dog at home ( we live one hour away, dog will be alone 4/5 hours max) owner works full time so don’t think dog has never been left.

It’s really difficult it comes up every few months as the reason why she can’t visit to see our son. So while we’ve agreed the dog isn’t welcome it still comes back up and then I feel like I’m being a barrier to her having a relationship with him. He’s only seen her three times this year (twice we went to hers and once we met at a farm where she didn’t bring the dog) I’m heavily pregnant so going to hers isn’t easy right now.

They should leave it in the car or chained up outside. Grim.

You're not the barrier to seeing her grandson, she is! I love dogs and have had dogs. Would not take them visiting folks, unless I was sure they would behave well and be whole-heartedly welcomed.

You are not unreasonable.

I love dogs, have dogs, but any dogs visiting must be house trained and socialised.

A friend did had a small dog which got very excited when greeting my labs, and pee’d; so all meetings were outside until the dog calmed down.

Tell your DH to explain to your MIL that it’s unacceptable and she needs to sort it out .

My DD has recently found a great puppy. It’s nearly 11 weeks old & very nearly has learnt to always (during day) ring the paw-bell to go out for both the p’s.

Get guests to leave their old dog at a kennel (until it’s housetrained preferably!)

This sounds more like the dog is marking territory if it’s doing it everywhere it visits.

It’s not a small dog thing, it’s a lazy owner thing.
I bloody love dogs but would definitely put my foot down to an incontinent dog in my home.

Rubbish.
Thats not a 'small dog 'thing... its an untrained dog / crap owner thing.

I am a gardener. And anyone who has dogs knows they are not bringing the dogs to my house. Not a chance. It is my house. And my rules. If you don’t like it. Don’t come.

I do say this with every bbq or gathering that I do. Anyone is welcome. But no dogs. That is on me.

I’m not surprised, they sound awful!

If it’s essential for you to meet her, perhaps meet at a park near yours or a nice dog friendly garden.

They don’t need to come to yours.

"It's a small dog thing." Since when?😂

If she had spent the time housetraining the dog when it was a puppy, instead of sticking a nappy on it, she wouldn't be in this mess now.

And no, I wouldn't allow the dog in my home either; and I think she's being very unreasonable in expecting you to do so.

YANBU. My dog is terrible scent marker. There’s no way I’d take him to someone else’s house. The only exception is my DB and SIL’s in the summer when we go straight to the back garden and he doesn’t go inside.

Absolutely no way. MIL didn’t visit us for about 3 months when she got her puppy (we aren’t allowed to visit her, that’s another thread!). She is now the only person allowed to bring their dog. We have a dog. I don’t mind if neighbours come over to the garden. But other than MIL (who has to bring her dog as her partner won’t look after it), no one brings even their well trained dog in my house.

I’ve also never brought my dog to someone else’s house. She stays home or we meet somewhere. And she is very well trained.

She has chosen the dog to be a barrier, not you.

Unfathomable to me that anyone would think dog accidents are acceptable in the house of another person.

It’s more complicated also as my husband thinks trying a better dog nappy solution is completely fair enough. I have encouraged him to speak to his friends or coworkers to get their opinion but he hasn’t.

I'm dog mad, mine is the apple of my eye, but no, just no. I wouldn't want a untrained dog in the house. I spent a lot of time out in the garden at all hours saying brightly 'weewee' and 'poopoo' 😂 The result is a dog I can ask to go and she will on command. Very useful before a car journey!