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To take friends DD back home

5 replies

Lowfat · 22/06/2008 15:26

This weekend I had agreed with best friends to look after her two sons 7 & 6 while she went to a party last night and he and her DH went to a conference today (have had her boys from 4.30 yesterday to about 9.30 tonight).

Part of our coping plan was for my DH to take the boys and our DD 4 over to thier house as they have a huge garden and spend a few hours playing in thier house with thier own toys, take them to the park, bike ride etc etc.

While they were there I would have some 1-1 time with my DS 18mn, take him out to get him a toy car he would like, and get a few bits of housework done.

Just before DH left I got a call from another friend from pre-school run asking me if I would have her DD for a couple of hours as she had some stuff to prepare for a course she teaches (for various reasons she did'nt want to ask her mum or brother who only live round the corner from us). Anyway as I would only have DS and it was only for a couple of hours I agreed.

She has since phoned to say it is taking longer than expected but I can return her DD if I want, although she had a tone that made me feel like it would be better if I did'nt.

So I have now had her DD for 3 hours, I have taken DS to the shop and treated him as I had planned and treated the her DD (but nothing for my DD or the boys). I have had to take my washing off the line because her DD wants to play in the garden on the slide, but with the wind kept getting hit on the head by the rotary. And the 1-1 time I wanted with DS has gone out the window.

I dont mind helping friends out but I suppose because it has been all weekend one way or another I am just feeling like a glorified childminder today.

DH will be back with DD and the boys soon as well and dinner has to be cooked, so I feel I have achieved nothing, I feel mean for wanting to take her DD back, but I was really looking forward to lavishing some attention on my DS.

Am I awful?

OP posts:
stillstanding · 22/06/2008 15:29

Of course you are not awful. Far more generous with your time than I think I would have been - and a wonderful friend. Just make sure you are not being used and that they return the favour some time ...

bogie · 22/06/2008 15:31

No take her back and learn to say no I can't have your dd i'm too busy.
If she has family near by that can help her she will easily find some one to look after her dd.
I always end up saying yes to people when they ask me Dp finds it quite easy to say no.

ELR · 22/06/2008 15:32

no not really, but can see why you would feel guilty if you took her back.
Take her back intime for your dh and kids coming back and explain you have hands full im sure your friend will be fine

cluelessnchaos · 22/06/2008 15:47

YANBU, take her back, its the weekend fgs, you are already looking after other folks kids.

bungalowbelle · 22/06/2008 15:52

Definitely not unreasonable and frankly I think you should have taken her back earlier before the feelings of resentment were allowed to build up.

I understand how this sort of thing happens though bit by bit you start giving of yourself to others until you suddenly realise you've left yourself with nothing of what you wanted. It's definitely an occupational hazard for us mums.

Take her back with a smile on your face and try to give yourself what you want for the rest of the day.

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