AIBU to feel too tired for evenings out with visiting parents?

[Whereisthisheatwavethen]

Mid-late 40’s, primary aged Dd, amazing but challenging at times, part time job and take on 80% of everything else (that’s another story)
Parents have come to visit, they’re in their 70’s and i’m exhausted.
Most days have involved getting Dd to school, dropping them somewhere, working for a few hours, meeting them for lunch and long walk, picking Dd up or taking to clubs and making dinner, bedtime etc.
Similar thing today and now Ddad has suggested we go out tonight too, to a shopping centre and dinner out or to a restaurant

I feel so tired and really don’t want to, but will because they want to as I feel bad we haven’t been out for meals in the evening, only coffees and lunches
In my normal, everyday life I have more down time and time at home, I don’t go out every day for long walks, cafes, restaurants and driving etc and have a day off after drop off where I stay home, do some chores and work, then just chill and watch tv. I really need this in my usual routine

Aibu to not really want to when they want to go out places in the evening too

How can they be this more active in their 70’s than I am in my 40’s? Or am I just a bit more boring than the average person-I love my home and relaxing!

Devil's advocate. Could your dad be suggesting to go out so you don't bave to cook? Perhaps you could instead suggest a takeaway?

For the record, I'm a millennial and don't like going out on a school night 😂

You have one child and a part time job … why are you so exhausted?
MN seems to be full of people that are constantly exhausted … not sure it’s quite normal?!?

Here we go….

Are you saying your Dad just wants to go out for dinner one night? Surely you can manage that if you are only 40? It's not like he's asking you to go clubbing. I don't get it.

But I would say if you are working in the day, you don't need to be meeting them for a walk etc. they can just amuse themselves.

YABU to not put an effort in to do things when they are visiting. - its not forever

YANBU to feel tired. - life can be tiring.

Im doing exact same now with DMum visiting (except she has health issues)
Im 40s, DD in primary, im working full time, no car so walk everywhere.

Yes im worn out as effectively it's like having extra 2 kids with just 1 older relative to deal with. But the time together is more important.

Its just for a visit so enjoy the now cos who knows what tomorrow brings. Maybe give grandparents some jobs to do. - cook dinner, do school pick up etc.

I don’t think it’s weird at all. I am the same age and with two primary aged children and I am so ready for bedtime (theirs and mine) I have gotten to the point where if someone interrupts my alone time now I am really resentful and agitated. I’ve decided to forgive myself for it tbh, I can’t help it at the end of the day. I would limit their stays or visit them instead? I’m planning on doing that with a particular relative that overstays, I’m going to intrude on their day for an extended period so they can see how it feels. Your parents are choosing to forget all their cares and chores at home while they’re visiting. Your life isn’t the same in that moment, you aren’t on holiday, the same things need doing and you still have to cook and clean etc and it’s hard not to be frustrated when the visitors are so carefree and you feel guilty saying ‘I just need to go and start prepping dinner / loading the washer / clean the bathroom.’ In between making them a drink and a snack. I wrote on here a while ago that I find it hard to forget the things that need doing when people are visiting and the general consensus was to just carry on doing what you need to.

"How can they be this more active in their 70’s than I am in my 40’s?"

Surely the answer to this is completely obvious! They are retired, right? You and your husband both have jobs and a primary-age child, and they don't. They can literally do whatever they want all the time! Work and parenting are very tiring, with hosting as well I'm not surprised you're exhausted.

I think you've done too much. You really don't have to see them for lunch and walks on the days you're working. Or if you have spent time with them in the day, you can retreat for an early night in the evening.

Why didn't they visit over the bank holiday weekend when you could have spent time relaxing with them instead of running around like a blue-arsed fly?

Or next week when it's half term and they could have spent more time with DD?

Can't you just muster up enthusiasm for a day whilst they are here?