to ask if anyone else has no one in the world that they can trust?

[Attackedbysavagebees]

I don’t have anyone I can trust. Is this unusual?

I do have some friends who have been kind to me. Thinking about it, there's probably one that I absolutely could trust but she lives a good distance away now.

I have a couple of friends close by, but I've found myself not discussing certain things with them. A daft example: one of them keeps telling me to stop losing weight. I currently have a BMI of just under 31 and an Inbody scan told me that I have a dangerously high level of visceral fat. (My muscle and bone density are fine - that was my reason for paying for the scan: I needed to be sure.)

The other friend has been kind to me, but started trying to insist that I use a professional that she had recommended, to the point that I found her behaviour to be bullying...

And so they should… but it’s possible to put yourself first and not manipulate people

I trust lots of people. My dh. My mum. My siblings. My friends. I am very sorry that you do not have a support system. Are you religious? Could you join a church? Most people are trustworthy in my opinion.

You must have brought them up well then as not all parents can trust their adult children.

Thank you. I’m so proud of them both, though I’m not sure it’s down to me!

@Attackedbysavagebees , I’m absolutely not going to tell you that you’re unreasonable because you understand your world.
I am unbelievably lucky and so very grateful to have a select group of people I would trust literally with my life. I am blessed.
I don’t know your circumstances but I do know you’re life isn’t over and you can find people, it doesn’t need to be many, it may only be one that you can trust implicitly. I’m so sorry that you are feeling this way but you aren’t stuck here, you can change this. It may not be easy but it will be worth it.
You have to start with you because if you don’t love you how can you expect others to? Maybe have a word with your GP but I think it’s possible to access some counselling online to help you with your self worth. Then you need to connect with others, it takes practice but it’s so worth it.
It can seem that the world is a dark and dreadful place and it can be but truly there is beauty all around. There are unkind and selfish people but there are also good and kind people. Stop looking for the clouds, turn your face from them and face the sun. Good luck! Xx

By the way, from your posts, you’re far from unlikeable!

Nope, same here. I’ve learnt , to my enormous cost, all interest (from others) is self-interest. Hurts like fuck

It does. But now you know, you can protect yourself by putting yourself first too.

This is a brilliant reply, one I'm bookmarking. One of the best replies I've read for ages 👏🏻

I trust my 84 year old DF but that's it.

Learnt the hard way that you really have to be careful who you confide in, had my fingers burnt a few times.

Probably my husband and my son. I used to think I could trust my Mother but I have caught her out in a few lies recently. She also keeps feeding info back to my sister who I am low contact with. I have one good friend who I am starting to trust more

Thank you - its taken an age to finally see this x

It must be down to you, stop being so modest 😀

Thank you, that’s so kind.
I doubt you are just lucky to have trustworthy people in your life, we reap what we sow to some extent.
It’s true that I hate myself but so does everyone else. I’m not mean but I am unlikeable despite my best efforts.

Sorry to hear this. Did you have an abusive childhood or did you have bad experiences later on?

It’s awful when you can’t trust your own mother. It’s taken me fifty years to accept that I can’t trust my mother. She has shown me time after time, right from my early teens but I just buried it and went back for more. There’s something particularly twisted about a manipulative mother.

You ARE likeable. I already like you. You have been made to feel all your life (by the sounds of the emotional abuse) that you aren't likeable. That's rubbish and NOT TRUE. Yes, sometimes you have to find your people or person, because not everybody likes everybody else! It's awful though when the person who's meant to care about you the most is putting you down, it makes it hard to be confident in yourself or feel like you can trust anyone. Just trust yourself for now, and cut out anyone in your life that isn't making you feel good about yourself, you'll feel better for it, even if temporarily on your own more. It will give you the confidence to make more of your life and meet new people (or not, if you're an introvert like me you don't need lots of people). Good luck and we all like you here!!

You are not ugly and unlikeable to other people I promise, but when we don’t like or love ourselves, we find it very hard to accept that other people will, if that makes sense. We wrongly assume they see us in the way we see ourselves, and they don’t.

I’m going out on a limb to suggest your partner is abusive in some way and has totally undermined your confidence, self esteem and self respect. Probably slowly and over a period of time. If that is the case I can guarantee you will be happier alone - and will be able to make friends when out of their control.

I speak from experience and was like you at one time. I’m now in a very different place, happy with myself, my life and the handful of friends I have made.

A large part of what helped me most was going to church (for the first time in my life), doing an Alpha course and becoming a Christian, who knows the love of God. I apologise if this is overstepping and it would not be something that would ever interest you. However, if you’ve ever had any questions around “what’s it all about/what’s the point”, it may be exactly right for you and bring a lot of love and joy into your life.

I know religion and faith can be a divisive subject, and for this reason it’s not something I’d usually mention on Mumsnet, but something about OPs words reminded me so much of my past feelings and a colleague invited me along to her church and it changed my life. I am very aware this is a difficult subject and don’t want to derail the thread.

Unlikely anything fundamentally evil.

Unfortunately, I think I am

I'm not totally alone. I mean, yes, I live alone. But I see people. I just don't trust or rely on them. I'd rather do whatever it is, or sort myself out.

I can't trust dp he's autistic and while he would try he dosent understand some things and makes them much worse

My dm would turn it all on me and continue to blame me for it for years wether it was big or as small as dropping a cup

I have acquaintances but not real friends
I could go on

The only living things I can trust are my dogs

This.

I have been badly let down by family and (what I assumed were) close friends as well as work colleagues.

So I have now accepted that the only person I can trust is myself.

My DH, DM, Step dad and 3 friends.