To expect it to be okay to have a 'woman crush' on celebrities without DH getting upset??

[henrys7thwife]

Have been happily married to DH for 12 years and have 4 (nearly 5) crazy beautiful children. My sexuality is in no way under question.

The other day while watching a preview of 'Wanted', I said, almost to myself, 'Wow, she's hot.' DH nearly wet himself and repeated to ALL his mates what I said. After his severe pestering, I admitted that I also like looking at Scarlett Johansson, Kate Moss, and other various celebrities I fear may not be as tasteful to public opinion

It seemed good fun to him for a few weeks but now he has started to become distressed, asking if I would ever 'act' on any of these impulses. I said to him: You BET if I ever saw Angelina Jolie and had the chance I would do it.

Now he's freaked out and questioning my sexuality. I want him to chill out and not be suspicious. AIBU?

NO...you aren't BU ...see how many of us love Mary Portas and Sue Perkins in a crushy way ! tis harmless

I think you are being a little insensitive. Saying that you'd do Angelina if you had a chance-even in jest is a bit disrespectful. Were you hoping that he'd do the stereoypical man thing and get turned on/pretend to be turned on by it?

I don't really care how he feels about it, I was obviously saying it in a jesting way and we both have good senses of humour. I think he's being paranoid.

ask him if he'd still be upset if the pair of you asked him to join in for a threesome

gosh, he sounds very sensitive
it was probably a bit cruel to rub it in though, if you know he's anxious about the whole thing.

mine gets all carried away with the idea

I think most men like the idea of women fancying women.

geekgirl, he was the one pushing and pushing and pushing me to talk about it, I was silent about it for weeks and then just said it to get him to be quiet. However, it's seemed to have the opposite effect. Just don't see why something so trivial and silly is affecting him so. He's normally not this sensitive. Maybe some ex of his has left him for a woman???!!!

Having crushes on celebrities is entirely normal. It's never going to happen.

He is taking himself far too seriously.

Me talking about my crushes on various female celebrities counts as foreplay in this house!

oh, I see. He's only got himself to blame then! He sounds very insecure. I used to get really upset and jealous about dh's mild celeb crushes (tame Sandra Bullock screensaver etc.) - but I was only 20 at the time.
I guess all you can do is reassure him that you're not going to bed anyone else and make him feel loved and wanted?

I still hve celebrity curshes, although normally on men. (I have a poster of Vigg Mortenson - as Aragorn on the inside of my wardrobe door )

It does tick my DH off whe I keep saying, I like him, I like him etc.

He only has a couple of celebrity crushes as far as I know. But I could find something attractive about most men. I like to appreciate certain things, hands, jaw etc. All harmless as he is totally the guy for me and still makes my toes curl after 13 year!

Just remind your DH of your red blooded desire for him!

He's being a dick.

He goads you to elaborate cos HE likes the idea then gets all paranoid about it.

If it wasn't for the encouraging to start off with, I would feel sorry for him. Imagine if he started telling you that he wouldn't mind a go on Jake Gyllenhall or Brad Pitt?
You'd probably feel pretty unsure about the sway of his swing.

But as it is, he's been an arse - so no pity here.

he is being a little sensitive. I mean we all have crushes on people whether they are male of female. The thing is they are crushes and thats all. Nothing is ever going to happen. Its like talking about robbing a bank and what you woudl do with the money, it doesnt mean that you are going to go ahead and rob a bank.

You are with dh for good reason....remind him in a lovley sexy way and he will forget about his insecurities

Hmm, methinks he is protesting toooo much.

He is being a loon.

Me and DH have a "list" of people that we are "allowed to do" (knowing its never gonna happen).

He has Kylie, Angelica, Kelly Brook....etc etc

I have Brad, Beckham and the list goes on...

I wonder if he'd said that he'd 'do' Ms Maneater Jolie that you would be fine?

DH laughs at mine......... well they are younger than Ds

omg, i'd do angelina! he's being a bit sensitive tho. DH and i have a list too but i think if i were to get my ideal he would look like frankenstien cos there's faaar too many that i like bits of. wouldn't turn down mr clooney either! DH thinks he's attractive (now) in a "manly" way....

ooh and he thinks that paul newman and steve mcqueen are attractive too..... maybe i should ask a few more questions... then again he is known as the gayest straight man anyone has met and he plays on the misconception terribly....

oops, I meant Angelina, not Angelica.

must be getting excited

Lol at TSAP YANBU OP

me and dp have lists too.

me; nic cage (dp dillusionally thinks he looks like him so doesnt mind this one)
vin diesel
most of the young male cast members of h and a
angelina and jessica alba

dp;
most of the young female cast members of h and a, esp leah
kylie
blondie
kiera knightly
and loads of other woman i cant be bothered to remember!!

its just a bit of fantasy there is no harm in it! and just for the record i think most woman would go with angelina!!

your dp sounds v v insecure! yanbu

Again, not sticking up for him because he's been an arse but I don't think his issue is that the OP has a 'list', but that it's a list of women.
I doubt he's stressing about the possibility of you meeting Angelina Jolie and you both sauntering off into the sunset together.
Put yourself in his shoes - if he told you he had a list of famous women he wouldn't mind boffing - fine, no problem, never gonna happen and it's only natural to fancy other people.
BUT, imagine he had a list of men he fancies... you presumably wouldn't worry that they'd meet and fall in love but I imagine you'd think "fuck, my husband fancies men". not just 1 man that they;re stranglety drawn to but several men.
You'd possibly feel a bit wierd, no?

I think women announce that they could sleep with other women because we have a culture where it's encouraged because there is the perception hat it makes them more attractive to men.
I don't doubt that we can look at another woman and find her attractive, even sexy, but I reckon that 9 times out of 10 she is no more turnable than a bloke is - the difference is a man is not encouraged to admit to finding another man attractive.

I'm with Jeremyvile, imagine he said that he'd 'do' Brad Pitt.

oooh forgot nic cage. veeery buff with lovely eyes. DH thinks it's hillarious that everyone on my list is older than him!
sean connery- he can mish money penny me anytime! (it's the voice. DH thinkshe sounds like him and i'm not about to correct him!))
mel gibson-twinkly blue eyes
harrison ford- that slight sneer plus the scar on the chin.....
wesley snipes-heelloo has anyone seen blade!! hot! (although DH maintains it's the skin tight black leather!)

jeremyvile, I do think you have a point.

'Tis double standards methinks.

Poor blokes can't win either way can they?

It still doesn't change the fact that it is OK to fancy celebrities. I doubt DH would be happy if I put my hunky next door neighbour on my "list".