AIBU to think that “mundane” stuff is actually an important part of childhood?

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Everyone is so busy and I read a lot on here about people trying to balance work and life and everything else. Specifically, when it comes to work and parenting, there seems to be a majority voice on MN that maintaining a career is vital for all sorts of reasons beyond the obvious immediate financial benefit. It’s often recommended to outsource as much as possible, including childcare.

I totally understand these views. I know that work is usually necessary and often important. I work full time and have young children.

But… I just can’t help thinking that some of the narrative is kind of stuff we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better? Lots of what is referred to as “drudgery” is sort of their childhood? Those chats on the school run and an unhurried evening in the garden? Watching TV after school or fighting with a sibling.

The children I know seem to do loads and loads of clubs and activities and scheduled things. But very limited just not-doing-much time with family, compared to what I remember from when I was younger.

I don’t know. I’m not articulating it well. Maybe I’m being romantic and eaten by guilt. But I can’t help feeling that, if work wasn’t necessary, what would genuinely benefit my kids is just having a parent at home more, just to do the mundane stuff of day to day life together.

Am I being unreasonable? Probably.

as someone who was in a swim squad at the age of 9 and playing county hockey in early secondary I really feel like I lost part of my childhood as I was rarely home after school as I always had training. I still remember the day I bunked off swimming, and went for a bike ride with my mates. Given I was never that talented it's a massive regret that I wasted my childhood swimming laps. I only go swimming on holiday now or occasionally in the summer.

Good for you,but it isn't practical advice for anyone without a high paying job which is about 90%of us.

Yeah I think there is a temptation to do more activities (so your child isn’t ’missing out’) the more hours parents work. In reality the more hours you work as parents, the essential family time is doing ‘not much’.

I work FT and my kids do one activity each a week plus going together to our place of worship. That’s it. I want slow mornings and time to bake, chat, watch TV together.

I don’t have a high-paying job and we still have a cleaner who also does ironing. I would cut back on other things to afford it if

I DO outsource loads of cleaning. I always have. It means my free time is free to be with the kids chilling. I did it (shock horror) even when I was a SAHM. Even when we were on a tight budget. It’s weird how much shame there is about paying for cleaning.

Depends on how we tick
No way would i be happy home on a daily basis nor would it mean the house would be functioning or cleaned.
We get home after work & school have a chat & relax into doing what we do..
Winter here its easier to spend time together.
Summer go to the beach warm evenings
I loathe the thought of to many clubs and commitments and have a limit of 1-2 a week for sports or school activities.

I see where you're coming from OP. I coach a sport at a couple of kids' clubs so obviously I am not opposed to organised activities, but there is a happy medium. Quite a lot of the children I see are, in my opinion, overscheduled, some ridiculously so. I do wonder if they ever get any unstructured time to just play.
And I find it quite sad when one of the most frequently cited disadvantages on rural life v city life discussion threads is that if you live in the country you are goung to have to taxi your children to whatever they want to do, for years. Of course it's true, and it does cost money and time, but I loved my time in the car with my kids, especially when they were teens. We had a lot of our best conversations when we were one to one in the car driving to a hobby or back from a friend's house at night. There's a lot to be said for "ordinary" time spent together.
My children are adults now and when they're altogether at Christmas etc and the conversation comes round to childhood memories it's rarely big successes or expensive trips that get discussed but stuff like the time DD ate a whole jalepeno pepper for a dare or when DH accidently pulled the emergency call rather than the bathroom light in the middle of the night when we were allocated a disabled room in a Travelodge once. Or even more mundane stuff like baking with their late grandmother.
I think we sometimes need to remember that we don't make memories, memories make themselves.