AIBU to worry about leaving my breastfed toddler overnight?

[SillyPiccalilli]

A friend's wedding is fast approaching - the venue is a few hours drive away, and the ceremony is early, meaning we will need to stay overnight the night before and the night of the wedding, so two nights total.

I've been excited about it up until now. Suddenly the thought of leaving my baby (14m) with grandparents for two nights is worrying me. She has a great relationship with them, and spends a full day each with with them while I'm at work, but I've never been away from her overnight so I'm not sure how well she'll cope.

Although she's obviously been eating solids for a long time now, we're still breastfeeding a few times a day and overnight. She will not take a bottle or milk from a cup, so I'm worried she won't settle without the breast if she wakes in the night, and me and her dad aren't there to comfort her.

What age did you first leave your little one overnight (especially if breastfed)? Was everything OK? Please tell me I'm being unreasonable to worry, and all will be fine 😅

Tell that to my little one haha. Currently waking 6-8 times overnight to feed. Screams otherwise!

I would definitely do a trial run where you are close enough to get back but still out. I've found DC do different things with different people (DD will be fed to sleep by me, be rocked to sleep by DH, put herself to sleep at nursery and go to sleep lying in bed next to my Mum)

Well, yeah, night weaning does involve a level of crying. My DS screamed his head off for about 20 - 30 minutes when his dad went in, it seemed like the end of the world. The second wake up, he screamed for 10 minutes. The second night, he woke once and screamed for 5 minutes. Then never again. He was being comforted by a loving parent, he was just angry. I'm still breastfeeding age 2, so it's not like I'm against long term breastfeeding. But let's not kid ourselves that they NEED it 6-8 times a night. That's habit. And not going to an event because of it after 2 years of breastfeeding is just a bit bonkers really. Your choice but it's perfectly possible.

I first left mine at 20 months (also for a wedding). My mum came to our house which definitely worked well as he was in his familiar surroundings and she just did our usual routine with him. We’ve done the some routine religiously since 7 months, so I think same house, same routine made it a smoother transition! I was still nervous even though he was fully weaned and slept through 😂. I’d definitely trial it a couple of times if you can - even if it’s just them doing bedtime while you pop out for a dinner!
At the end of the day, she will sleep eventually and it’s just two nights that your parents will get through - it’s just hard to know if it will be easy or upsetting!

2 months 🙈for my bday. I built a breastmilk bank and was back at 6am but couldn’t feed her myself for the next 24 hours. I fed her my milk from a bottle.

We have tried getting DH to soothe on wake ups but unfortunately the fabled ‘cries but the length of it reduces every time,’ simply doesn’t happen for us. Either DS won’t be soothed by him, or, if he is, he will wake up again after 5/7/8 minutes, crying again. It’s strange as DH does the bedtime settling but after that he only wants me.

It’s so daunting leaving your bf child for the first time at night so I absolutely get it.
The alternative could be you pay for grandparents & dc to stay at the accommodation with you at the wedding. Appreciate finances might not allow for that but I did this for a v close friend’s wedding and it worked well.

The guidance on her makes me laugh

I bet none of those being so critical of bottles after 12 months actually ditched them by 12 months!

Bottles during the day should be ditched by then but 1 bottle a night after turning 1 isn’t a guarantee to harm teeth! Mine had a bedtime bottle until 2 but cups in the day and she’s got perfect teeth and perfect speech

I think if he knows he can get you of course he’ll hold out. If you do want to night wean you just have to persist for several nights. Although also he’s old enough that he’ll be fine for a night and can pick up again on your return, although probably not much sleep will be had when you’re away.

I think the point is not to introduce a bottle at this age. Different if already taking a bottle before 12 months.

Totally different to keep a bedtime bottle a bit longer for a young toddler who is very attached to it as part of their routine. That’s totally understandable! But there’s zero need to go against guidelines and risk their dental health to introduce one in a toddler that has never had a bottle before so has zero association of comfort with it. I’m pleased your DD has lovely perfect teeth but the natural sugars in the milk and the way the bottle causes it to wash over the teeth can damage teeth especially if it’s multiple night feeds as a replacement for a breastfeeding routine.