Hi sorry this will be a bit of a long one and a bit of advice for what I should do or if I’m unreasonable because i feel like I’m going crazy I’ve been with my partner since we were 15 we have 3 children two of which are autistic . I have always been the breadwinner he’s stayed home and looked after the kids by choice I’ve never asked him but to be honest one of us needed to originally as both my autistic kids throughout nursery and reception have been on reduced hours the nursery made that plan . Anyway I pay all the bills he just watches the kids I do all the cleaning and cooking too all the appointments the school run in the morning before work I can’t do the pick ups as I usually finish at 5. We’ve been arguing a lot lately as I don’t think he does enough and I’m burnt out he was diagnosed 2 years ago with cancer he’s fine now all clear he had a big surgery and that effectively cured him I don’t want this to be tit for tat but I fully supported him I sorted all his appointments and medicines I made sure he could have the best recovery possible . I’ve been struggling with my health for years never had an answer was diagnosed this year with endometriosis actually found on an mri it’s bad enough to be seen I’m on a waitlist for surgery I’m constantly in pain I push through it can be so bad that I’m vomiting all morning when I get a flare the exhaustion and brain fog are bad too but I push through as I know I have to. He’s been really a bit of a shit if I’m being honest when I got the diagnosis he actually said does that mean you will stop talking about it now when I say I’m in pain he rolls his eyes and if I don’t want sex he acts really grumpy with me. I’ve over the years put up with a lot he’s suspected autism not that I think is an excuse for how he behaves sometimes but if he’s challenged with something or I call him lazy he shouts at me he always thinks he’s right about everything and when we argue it’s usually my fault yet I’m rarely the one that starts it I hate confrontation. I’ve just started to feel really miserable and the prospect of a future with a lifelong condition and all the stuff I already do I don’t think I can carry it on much longer I’ve started getting breathless and have palpitations I feel dizzy all the time I get headaches too that last for days I’ve had every test and scan going I spoke to a friend and she told me my body is fight or flight mode like my nervous system is in high alert I haven’t told her everything and why I’m so stressed I know I’m an idiot and I’ve put up with it for too long be gentle with me I just need someone to tell me I’m not crazy and this is how life should be I’m miserable and o don’t think he actually loves me because why would he treat me this way .