AIBU SEN support staff saying things…

[Senschoolaibu]

Had to NC for this obviously.

My DC attends a SEN school, in his classes he has SEN support staff. It is important to say my DC has a learning disability, autism, ADHD & mental health issues school is aware of all this, and are trying to help him with his mental heath.

Since year 8 he’s had a certain SEN support staff member who seems to enjoy winding him up just by little things putting him in dentention if he struggles to finish work etc but will let it slide with other kids.

The reason for my post is that my son didn’t complete his work Monday afternoon due to a headache, school know he suffers from headaches as his lymph nodes are larger than the norm and when he’s coming down with something they swell up & go rock solid. It’s been investigated by his GP etc. anyway this certain staff member gave him another detention for the following day for not doing his school.

The next day he couldn’t get out of bed, bad cold and lymph nodes swollen he was sick from the headache.
Later that afternoon his friend text and said this support staff said he was faking it to get out of detention to another support staff but mutiple children in his class overheard, she also said it’s funny how when it’s something he wants to do (lunch club) he’s perfectly fine yet she’s never been in this lunch club so hasn’t got a clue.

Obviously this has hugely upset my child. AIBU to put in a formal complaint and ask that she no longer works with my son? I just feel it’s damaging behaviour especially with his mental health and really unprofessional. I’m very upset.

In what world would you be unreasonable?!
Put in the complaint and take it as high as possible.

The fact you’re even questioning doing so is insane.

Because I am going off his friends word rather than 100 % proof but it’s unlikely to be untrue as he had six of his friends confirm they heard it.
Ive let another support member know who I trust and has an excellent relationship with my son but I think today I will ring and ask for the complaints proceeder then.

This is totally unacceptable behaviour from a TA whose job is to support and encourage your DS. It’s not a good strategy to be issuing a consequence the next day especially in the circumstances described.
I would speak to the SENCO and explain your concerns, outlining the unprofessional behaviour and harsh consequences. I’d do this before going straight to formal complaints.
There may have been other complaints from parents or pupils.
If there is a support service/advisory teacher involved I’d also speak to them as they will be used to dealing with situations like this.

There are TAs at my son’s SEN college with similar “grudges” and who definitely needle in deniable ways. Complain and keep a note of what happens when. Rotating staff helps, as that sort of power can bring out the worst in some people.

Thanks all Ive asked for the head to ring me so just waiting to speak to them. I knew it wasn’t right, she has a thing for repeating the same thing constantly at him which she knows full well winds him up & nobody else does this, I think she’s been trying to get a reaction out of him for a very long time.

Once you have spoken to the HT, follow up with an email so you have a paper trail.

The TAs treatment of DS is appalling. Discussing it in front of other pupils makes it worse. The school needs to act.

I would be very wary of making a complaint based upon the friends text message. It could be a misunderstanding or a complete fabrication.

Definitely follow the call with an email. I know the friend could be exaggerating but as someone who has navigated the school system with a SEND child I know this kind of thing happens. My child had a difficult year at primary until we and the headteacher realised that the problem was the TA not my son. The majority of people who work with SEND children are great, a few arnt and hide behind the idea that everyone working in SEND are angels - sorry bitter Mum here who had to deal with this too often.

Mutiple children confirmed it happened.

I have waited all day for a phone call, and left mutiple messages not a single senior member got back to me I now have a very anxious child who does not want to go to school tomorrow and deal with this member of staff. Not sure what to do, would it be unprofessional to sit in their reception and refuse to leave until I speak to someone?

You aren’t a professional, you are a parent and waiting politely (and in the way) seems utterly appropriate to me.