AIBU to diagnose burn out based on FB adverts and ChatGPT?

[TotallyBurnt]

I’m totally burnt out. I know this because the adverts on FB tell me, ChatGPT tells me. I have all the symptoms. I don’t know what to do about it. I’m changing my job and where we live but it’s going to take 8/9 months to happen. I have a DP who is father to our 2 kids, 8 & 2. He doesn’t get it, is part of the problem, and has left it to me to instigate what will be major changes for our family. I don’t know what to do until then, I’m part numb and part want to cry.

I would try and get a doctor's appointment, it's got to be a better option than what you've done so far. Plus maybe your partner might actually help!

I don’t think YABu but burn out isn’t a diagnosis, it just describes a serious of symptoms that can potentially be treated separately

what are the symptoms you’re worried about?

ChatGPT describes burnout as follows:

Emotional symptoms

• Feeling exhausted most of the time
• Irritability or short temper
• Feeling detached, numb, or cynical
• Loss of motivation
• Feeling helpless, trapped, or defeated
• Increased anxiety or sadness

Mental symptoms

• Difficulty concentrating or remembering things
• Reduced productivity
• Feeling mentally “foggy”
• Trouble making decisions
• Loss of creativity or enjoyment in work/life

Physical symptoms

• Constant fatigue, even after rest
• Headaches or muscle tension
• Changes in sleep (insomnia or oversleeping)
• Frequent illness (stress can weaken immunity)
• Changes in appetite
• Stomach issues or digestive problems

Behavioral signs

• Withdrawing from friends or coworkers
• Procrastinating more than usual
• Using alcohol, food, or other coping behaviors more often
• Neglecting responsibilities or self-care
• Dreading work or daily tasks

so I have every symptom except stomach issues/digestive problems. I’m overeating, over tired and not getting anything done. I run my own business so can’t be signed off sick. I’m late 40s.

And can you attribute this to one source (bad job? Bad marriage? Family stress?) or does it feel like everything?

it could be anti depressants could help but you could also engage a therapist to help you work through the rooot cause of these problems.

no quick fix- I was the same in 2024, and am now coming out the other side with a new job and divorce. I couldn’t seethe wood for the trees 2 years ago but I know the idea of the next 50 years being like the first 50 made me want to die

YANBU to think you have burnout but YABU to be relying on fb ads and AI instead of trusting your instinct and seeing a doctor.

Theres nothing wrong with looking symptoms up of burn out, thats what I did to differentiate between that and something else (and I cant remember what the something else was because I cant remember things these days)

I have those symptoms, it’s depression though - diagnosed

Sorry to hear you’ve been through it and glad to hear you’re getting through it.

I think the root cause is probably financial problems which I haven’t disclosed to anyone and difficulties in our relationship.

I can’t see where I’d find the time to see a therapist. I used to before our eldest was born, but I had more time then, and that was prompted by grief.

I see mine online either in my lunch hour or block out an hour a week in my work calendar and tell work I need to have a physiotherapy appointment. Later I’m doing it from my bedroom whilst the kids watch tv downstairs

YABU to cite ChatGPT.

’Burn-out’ isn’t a diagnosis / condition. It’s a colloquial term made popular on SM etc encapsulating various symptoms attributable to overwhelm / stress / and sometimes anxiety/depression.

It sounds like you’re very stressed and over-loaded. Have you tried some of the excellent apps like ‘Headspace’, for clinically-proven tools around mindfulness, relaxation, CBT, grounding and meditation? Also, you can self-refer to your local NHS Talking Therapies for CBT to help better tackle anxiety etc.
If you have the funds, would a couple of sessions with a Life Coach and/or some couples therapy with your DP be in reach?

Ditch everything that is not essential. Say no to requests for favours. Trim the kids’ expectations a bit (no-one needs whole class parties / expensive gifts etc). Cut all possible corners. Find easy life hacks. Go easy on any perfectionism. Forgive yourself for lowering your standards. Ensure you’re utilising your annual leave. Magnesium at night to sleep well. Promethazine (over counter antihistamine) to sleep if you’re struggling.
Exercise / short walks. Google “box breathing” to help with heart rate regulation and managing panic.

I think self diagnosis is at best unreliable. That symptom list could be present for a whole host of conditions, that may respond to medication, therapy or require lifestyle changes. You’re not unreasonable to feel burnt out, but I’d always check there isn’t an underlying health need. At very least given your age I’d be thinking about peri/menopause which I could tick every box on your list for me.

I can’t imagine finding an uninterrupted hour! But I will look at online therapy, thank you. Mine used to be in person so it would take over 2 hours for a session

I had thought about seeing the doctor re perimenopause. I find it difficult to articulate what I think is wrong with me, hence using ChatGPT. Too easy to say “it’s fine”, or “I have kids of course I’m tired!”. It’s been on the long list of jobs for a while, I’ll try and get on with it tomorrow.

Why won’t you get an uninterrupted hour?

it feels impossible but that’s part of the overwhelm and also the main character element- I’ve since learnt I’m really not that important and people with far more responsibility than me manage to find an hour when they need it.

people don’t notice as much as you think. Therapy is great for accepting this

Because I have 14 hours child care for my 2 year old during which time I have to run my business full time, whilst also looking for a full time job so that I can ease my cash flow in the short term and have something else to go to.