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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel like a shit mum

5 replies

Flower836385 · Yesterday 16:53

I’m in a really intense phase of work, currently juggling my business and also a second job which is a good opportunity I couldn’t turn down because it could lead to future work maybe even as part of my business. It’s just one day a week and I work for my business in the evenings and on Mondays Thursdays and Saturday mornings.
it means I’m juggling a lot. Childcare (two kids aged 3 and 5), household, friendships, and both jobs.

on Sunday I’m taking the eldest away on a city break for three nights abroad. I’m already feeling really guilty about not taking the youngest although I understand he’s too young and very very boisterous so a city break with just me without his dad would not be a good idea until he’s a bit older.
im also really anxious about the flight I do have a fear of flying these days and almost don’t know why I agreed to go (we’re going with my friend and her 5 year old).

anyway on Tuesdays I have a day off until the evening to spend with my youngest but I felt so overwhelmed with work, admin, organising stuff for this trip that I asked his grandparents to have him for a couple of hours this afternoon. That means I now won’t see him until tomorrow morning as I work in the evenings on Tuesdays so he’s been there since 2pm and I won’t even see my eldest until the morning and saw him last this morning. I just feel like a shit mum and that I should have spent some quality time with my youngest rather than feeling stressed about all the stuff I had to do

OP posts:
Moonnstarz · Yesterday 16:57

Do things even out throughout the year? So while now is a busy time, maybe you have quieter times when you can take time off and be more available?

Can you do a UK trip with your youngest so they still have the 1:1 time away with you?

Thingcanonlygetbetter · Yesterday 16:58

You are doing your best. You didn’t leave your youngest with a drug dealer. You left him with his grandparents. You are trying to give experiences to your kids. They will all be fine. Make some time alone for the youngest when you get back.

I lose my mind with holiday prep but once you get there you can relax
flying is safe so take that off your worry list.
write a list and just get through it. Good luck

Clefable · Yesterday 17:02

I took my older DD away for a trip just the two of us when she was 6. It was lovely and we will do the same this summer. It’s a totally different experience than having both, and when DD2 is old enough to enjoy it we will do the same. So don’t feel guilty, one on one time is important. I quite often take one kid somewhere, a cafe trip or whatever, and the other kid similar on a different day. It will all even out in the end.

Pinkflamingo10 · Yesterday 21:27

Organise another little trip for you and your three year old, so they both get that special time with you.

Getmeacoffeenow · Yesterday 21:32

Ahhhhh don’t you get it, you asked for help because you ARE a good mum. You recognised you needed some support and you made the arrangement.

You're taking one of your children on a trip even though you’re scared of flying - great mum!

You think about your children’s feelings - wonderful Mum.

Don’t be so hard on yourself and have a great time.

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