Meeting with HR

[displaynamemr]

FFS. So I applied for an internal job and didnt get it. The job has been awarded to hiring managers daughter, I don't care because it was more responsibility and not much more money. However the hiring manager called me before it went out and basically told me to apply/she literally said ive got the job.

However, the issue is I was venting to a colleague at work and we were overheard and now HR want to talk to me about it. I was annoyed because I was on annual leave and spent a morning at an interview etc. I was a little upset and crying but that's just because I'm due on my period and to be honest I like a good cry sometimes.

It was in a meeting room at work and someone has heard me. The interview is held in a room that everyone can see - I walked past the office and was wearing full office attire.

There was nothing said in the chat with my colleague that was hurtful about the company, more just about my experience.

Am I in trouble? Why does he even care? I've got a diary invite.

Generally I don't care about work issues to the point I will start grieviences and as a cancer survivor (they wouldn't know about it) than I really don't give two bothers about work, my health and my family are mu priority.

Then they can ask my manager to speak to me lol.

I also cried showing a new baby in the family. I guess that requires a HR notice. People know I cry, and it's not because I'm upset.

I don't understand why everyone is asking why the OP cried if she didn't care about the job, and therefore it proves she must have cared about the job.

Surely the point is that she cares (and is upset) about the fact that she's been messed around?

She used annual leave for the interview, and she can't get that time back. She probably prepped for the interview and practiced questions, and she can't get that time back. She wouldn't have done those things if she hadn't thought she was close to getting this job. And it looks like that was a lie.

I would definitely be annoyed about those things. And if I was having a potentially emotional day and needed to cry to release some stress (because that's what crying is - a uncontrollable bodily reaction to feeling stress and upset), I'd probably have a little cry too. And I don't think I'd be unreasonable to do so.

Not in the workplace in sight of other people, or whilst talking to someone else - not if you don’t want consequences. It’s not a normal or professional way to behave.

It does sound like you aren’t suited to a step up in responsibilities as you don’t seem to know what’s appropriate at work and what isn’t. Especially the ranting and raving in a meeting room which everyone could see.

Yo seem to have taken it all personally?

I've not given up work.

My goodness, how did you get so perfect and knowledgeable. Please teach us, all knowing Oracle.

Oh wait no, you actually sound like an insufferable, know all, blowhard 😂

Yes it's all very weird, even the interview she asked me when could I start...

But it's fine

Nail on the head!

I wonder if the hiring manager is the poster who bragged about getting her daughter on the career ladder where she works, by scuppering other people's chances by amending the job description and other sneaky dealings? It was on the worst thing you have ever done thread, except she wasn't the least bit guilty about her actions.

crap Manager, they may have thought it and then the daughter was presented as a fair accompli, manager is a massive people pleaser and tells people what they want to hear. Op interpreted what they said wrongly. Loads of reasons, humans are not logical or rational.

Did you interview on annual leave? You should get HR to give you that back

I better get my coat then. I cried in from of my manager when one of my team raised a vexatious grievance against me. Because he’s not an utter twat he was kindness personified. What consequences should I have received?

Is not when can you start? a standard interview question that they ask every candidate? Sorry but even with internal jobs it’s never in the bag. You sound peeved that you were encouraged to apply internally but it went to someone else. If you were not bothered than why did you rant to colleagues.

So, privately in front of one person during a difficult meeting? Not in a room everyone could see and loudly. Had you done that, and HR wanted a chat about what happened, would you then be furious about it?

The OP did it very publicly, and said she was ranting about what happened… and is now angry that HR are involved. You can’t behave like that and expect zero consequences. The consequences are that HR are now involved, because the OP clearly needs some support.

You can't cry 'whenever you want'. It's unprofessional to do it at work. Nobody else does. Not that I've seen except in rare circumstances and and if they do it's because of a shit working environment. So either way you shouldn't let it bother you. But you should try and regulate your emotions or be more subtle.

The meeting will probably be to check your welfare.

You didn't really want the job anyway so just move on from that. I can still see why you'd feel there was nepotism at play with hiring her daughter.

But I still don't think crying at work is a good plan. If it makes yon cry you should leave.

Do you have a link to this thread please?

Yes you can. I've had my staff cry about a whole range of things at work. They're not fucking robots.

I have empathy for my fellow human and I encourage an open and honest environment at work and that's exact what I get. My team would go to the end of the earth for me and I would do the same for them.

Empathy - try it, it'll make your colleagues despise you less 😂

My colleagues have never despised me. I'm sorry if I don't think crying at work is normal.

Reading between the lines here I am assuming you were venting that the hiring manager’s daughter got the role because she was the hiring manager’s daughter. They will likely be investigating a potential conflict of interest or if they know all processes were followed correctly they will want to clear this up with you and shut down rumours.