18 month old will not sit in high chair

[neveranysignal]

My 18 month old will scream and wriggle to get out the high chair.
He’s not stable enough to sit on a chair yet and I have succumbed to chasing him around with a fork full of food, just to get it in his mouth.
A rod I’m already regretting, how can I get him out of this?
If I give him the plate he throws it on the floor so even when he does eat I have to put bite size pieces in his mouth individually or he won’t eat it.

You can get all sorts of seats to put on a dining chair which might make him feel more a part of the meal.

I thought that was a long way off but looking online I may be able to get one for his age.

This sounds really tough. Is it a new phase he's going through? Has he sat in the highchair previously? If he is eating lots and drinking lots of milk, perhaps he's not actually hungry?

If he has been eating solids capably before, I'd just stop trying to feed him.
If he's throwing his plate on the floor, I'd just calmly clean that up but not offer a replacement.

For comparison, at 18mos, my DCs could communicate well enough to ask for food. They could also sit in a highchair and on a child-sized chair at a small table. We also had a thing like the baby-to-love travel pocket so that DC could sit on big chairs.

maybe high chair doesn't fit him? Change the high chair for something bigger? They need to sit supported til 2.5 years.

Get him one of those kid sized table and chairs and let him eat finger foods for at least one of his meals. Giving him control instead of battling should lead to an easier meal time all round.

My now 2.5 year old went through this from about 18 months until 2ish. We tried all of it, in the end what worked was taking him out of the highchair and getting him a booster seat for the dining room chair which we could still strap him into and basically letting him feed himself more and more. It was more of a struggle for my partner and grandparents to just leave him to it than it was for me, I just thought he was very independent and just wanted more control and it was exactly what he needed. Sometimes he still asks for help with his cutlery but for the most part, he just gets on with it. He definitely eats better if we are all eating with him. He had a slight regression when his sibling was born and wanted us to feed him again but that’s stopped now. He now sits on a normal chair with no straps as he’s super tall and didn’t need the booster seat anymore. Obviously we still have moments where he wants to wander around but he’s made to sit back down properly. We’ve actually just had a lovely compliment from nursery that he’s one of the only ones that routinely sits properly, and uses his cutlery and cup properly. Giving him more autonomy has helped in so many other areas of his life as well.

Tripp Trapp? Trawl Facebook marketplace for one. Mine much preferred sitting in it as they were at the table. Unless you are going to have another I would not bother with the parts

Ditch the high chair and get a stokke tripp trapp chair to pull up to the table and the family meal.
or get a small Montessori chair and table that they can get up and down from themselves. They want independent to to be contstrained in a baby high chair. Let them 100% feed themselves.
if throwing food give only tiny volumes at a time.
eat with them at family mealtimes and model behaviour.
the toddler years are tough, they’ll grow out of all these phases. (Mum of 3 small boys !)

You seem to have inadvertently turned mealtimes into a game where you chase him around virtually pleading with him to eat. That's the rod you have created for your own back. You need to set some boundaries or this will spread to other situations and run you ragged!
I'm sure the advice below will have Mumsnet posters squealing "child abuse" but all I need would say is that this advice has worked on at least 3 generations in my family. We are all successful, well adjusted adults who have had children with no behavioural issues and excellent table manners!
You need to get strict with your child. Strict is not cruel, it is consistently rewarding good behaviour and not rewarding bad behaviour.
If the high chair has a harness, use it. If he screams, don't put the food down until he stops. Don't fuss him or give any extra attention. Praise him when he behaves well and complies with what you want.
If he throws the food on the floor, tidy it away but don't get him anything else that meal time. No fussing. Just say" you can't be hungry then". No child ever died from missing 1 meal. Be consistent. It will work and meals will become a more pleasant experience. Explain what you are doing in simple words. Toddlers understand more than many people think.
Don't offer snacks in-between meals. Make sure you are not being undermined in this by other members of the family. Lots of children eat too much in-between meals, wandering around with a toy in one hand and food in the other. No wonder they are not really bothered if they have a sit down meal or not!
Some might say that sit down formal table manners are unnatural. Maybe so, but they are actually an important part of human social behaviour and " fitting in" so you have to persevere.

Entertainment for whilst in the highchair? I used to give my son random kitchen items to explore while he was waiting for his food. A kitchen roll, wooden spoon, handful of rice krispies. Only put his in when the food is ready so he's only in for as long as necessary too. I never used a plate, i had the Bibado bibs which stretched over the tray so just put food straight on there. Also just a few bits at a time so it can't all go on the floor. I wouldn't make a big deal if it gets put on the floor, just don't give it back and he'll eventually learn not to do it.

I definitely wouldn't be chasing around with food as he could choke. If my son wasn't in his highchair he wouldn't be getting his food. My son was in his highchair until 2.5 years and now sits lovely at the table on an Ikea Junior chair or an adult chair when out and about. I've never tolerated him getting down, running around with food or climbing on chairs during meal times as I was too worried about choking.

You could try a wobble cushion maybe