Is one of the worst things to watch your parents age?

[Thetimeisnowletsmakethismomentlast]

I know I am incredibly lucky to still have my parents, but all I keep thinking each time I see them (3 or 4 times per year-I live away) is about how many years I have left with them and little things i’m starting to notice.
Dm is 73, but seems to have aged in the last couple of years, she says this herself. Her memory is becoming really bad, she says it’s normal, but i’m not so sure?
Ddad is 77 and still good, but I also notice him repeating stories or saying the same thing a lot and wonder if this is normal.
My mum recently had to go to the Drs and wanted me in the Drs room with her and to speak for her, which really surprised me.
I feel like i’m moving into the caring for them role quite quickly, which of course I will do, but I keep crying recently about it
I’m late 40’s and it seems to have come too soon, things were so different just 5 years ago even.
I feel scared and not secure, does anyone else have this, it’s just so sad

It's hard 😔 I watched my dad go from a big strong man to a little wizen old man with many years of ill-health culminating in a few years of kidney dialysis and a leg amputation. When he died, I could only feel relief at first, that he was free from all the pain and discomfort he'd endured. My mum is now in her 80s, very frail with poor eyesight and hearing and diminishing mobility. Old age is cruel. Make the most of the time you've got while your parents are still in relatively good health, albeit slowing down.

So sorry 😔 that is so hard, I know I need to try to stay in the moment but all I keep thinking is how things will only get worse

It's so hard to see your parents in decline. When you're growing up the are so strong and dependable and when you're younger you think they will always stay that way.

Then when they start to age that certainty fades. I think there's an element too of realising your own mortality.

I do know how you feel OP. My mum was always such a keen gardener and then one day I realised she sat watching me on the bench and didn't join in any more. As my dad aged he went from being a very big, strong man to so frail. Seeing his thin, narrow shoulders made me want to weep for him and if I'm honest for me too.

Your parents aren't terribly old in today's terms. You may well have them around to love for many years yet. Make the most of those days.

My mum died when I was 17. Dad had on going medical issues and he always said "at least you won't have to watch me get old". He died when I was 24.

Fil died at 90 very intelligent man, who came from nothing and it was only the last 18 months when he had a stroke was he less than spot on. Mil now 97, he memory is going so that she asks the same questions we've times but she still lives alone and is still good company. But she doesn't want to cook so eats out a lot and needs someone with her... doesn't want to come to us, meals on wheels etc so we have to go with her...the trouble is we are going away and whilst sil lives closer than us, she doesn't accept mil is 97 and thinks she's still 50 and expects her to walk here and there and carry this and that....my wife doesn't want to go and it really fucks me off

I understand how you feel. It's like the roles are reversed and you become the parent, taking care of them. But you're right to try and focus on the here and now and try not to worry about the future. In a way, it's a good thing to realise they won't be here forever - it can make you slow down and giving them your time and company is the greatest gift you can give them.

MIL was 92 when she died from a sudden catastrophic stroke. Until then she lived independently and was still driving. It doesn't have to be the way you're fearing.
My DPs both died in their early seventies. DF was sudden, and DM died shortly after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I felt that was far too young.
I'm in my mid fifties and have a life limiting condition. My philosophy now is to appreciate what you have. Don't let fear of the future rob you of today's joy.

It’s hard OP and will only continue to be so.

Something practical at this point would be to make sure someone in the family has power of attorney for further down the line, if you haven’t already.