AIBU to think the graduate should pay their own share now?

[mysteriousstranger]

Every few months my wider team will meet and go for dinner (we all work from home most of the time). Usually we sit in tables of about 6, and on the last few occasions the person receiving the bill for our table has said "we'll cover X, they're only a graduate", meaning others on the table all pay more. The graduate has probably been working over a year now and is on a decent salary. Am I being unreasonable to think they should start paying for their own food now? When does a graduate stop being a graduate? And how do you end the routine without sounding like a complete tight arse?

Are you in an industry where the grad is on a fraction vs the next rung up, and/or the team dinner is at an especially extravagant place?

Barring the above, I would say the rule of thumb is the newbie gets subbed for their first team meal, then pays their own way. I’d mention to them ahead of the next team meal that they’ll pay their own way and usually this costs £x so they aren’t caught unawares, and I’d be the one to ask for the bill.

So I think it’s a lovely gesture, but it should either be expensed to the company or whoever is most senior at the table should cover it. It’s a bit cheeky to volunteer everyone else. When I was very junior, one of my mentors would always pay for me when we attended a dinner together. But the difference was, she personally paid for my share, not everyone, and the pay disparity was about £20k vs £100k+.

So you’ve ended up on a table with a graduate trainee every time? Or do you have a lot of them? Do the rest of you earn a decent chunk more, even if their graduate salary is OK?

This needs a conversation ahead of time. Something like trainees get subbed for the first 2 or 3 meals, then pay, is what I'd suggest if everyone likes it as a tradition. Others of course may not! Which is why it's good to have an open conversation.