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Original poster

To throw the towel in

22 replies

FlorenceAndTheSewingMachine · 17/05/2026 21:18

So much has happened in the past 6 months, today is our youngest sons 18th birthday and I'm heartbroken for him as he only got 4 cards and 1 phone call, he is autistic so doesn't want much but I want him to have more
I'm struggling so much with my mental health right now and this is the catalyst that has tipped me over the Edge.
I have just had enough and feel I can't go on with all this but I don't know what to do with all the feelings.

OP posts:
Growingaseed · 17/05/2026 21:21

What's upset you?

The lack of cards/presents from others? Or were you not able to get him a present yourself for financial/other reasons?

How is he feeling?

Original poster
FlorenceAndTheSewingMachine · 17/05/2026 21:26

He has 5 siblings only one acknowledged his birthday, they are all adults and I'm angry as a phone call or even a message, we have done so much to bail them all out and it seems so bloody selfish. I'm upset with them, I lost my uncle l aunty then 2 weeks later my son attempted suicide then 2 days later my dad died then 5 days after that my uncle died. I live for my family but they really have let me down let their brother down. A phone call or message takes seconds.

OP posts:
Original poster
FlorenceAndTheSewingMachine · 17/05/2026 21:29

We got him all he wanted as it wasn't much then we got him other gifts to make up for the lack of a party as we spent thousands on the others, it's just the lack of acknowledgement, I think I'm probably just too emotional but it's still upsetting

OP posts:
Original poster
FlorenceAndTheSewingMachine · 17/05/2026 21:43

I just have no life left in me, I don't want to make my family sad by my sadness.
I just can't see a way forward

OP posts:
pitchblackromance · 17/05/2026 21:49

@FlorenceAndTheSewingMachinei would suggest getting this moved to the mental health board.

On a practical note I would recommend looking on the hub of hope website to see what services are in your local area for mental health support. You can self refer to Talking therapies in most areas. I would also look into what does (or used to) bring you some happiness outside of your family and start working on trying to build that into your life.

Please also remember that you can contact the mental health crisis line on 111 opt 2, Samaritans on 116 123 or text shout on 85258.

Orangeballoons · 17/05/2026 21:49

First, and this is important, call samaritans.

Tomorrow talk to your GP.

It sounds like your mental health has taken a battering. You need help. Please reach out to people who can give it.

NotAnotherScarf · 17/05/2026 21:50

Have you told them. As you say, they are grown ups. So perhaps you need to talk to them as grown ups. A message along the lines of

I am really disappointed in you. It's your brother's 18th . You haven't bought a card or present or even rang him. I didn't bring you up like that. We spent a lot of money to celebrate your 18th. He didn't want that. You can understand why. But for his own family not to acknowledge his special day is really, really shitty. We've had a dreadful time as a family and normal people react by being nice to those still with us as things like that bring it home we are only here for a short time. You haven't just let your brother down, you've let yourself down. And I am ashamed for you, as you know full well that you weren't brought up to be so self centered

Original poster
FlorenceAndTheSewingMachine · 17/05/2026 21:51

Talking threpies is at least a 8 month waiting list and I'm on it, I keep messaging my GP as I can't get an appointment, I feel like I'm spiraling.
I just want all this to stop and I don't know how to stop it

OP posts:
Orangeballoons · 17/05/2026 21:54

Honestly at this point talk to the Samaritans or as someone else suggested the mental health crisis team on 111.

The way you are talking is concerning.

You need help. Soon.

Notmenc · 17/05/2026 21:55

OP am sorry you are feeling so let down by your family. I personally would contact each one emphasising how deflated you feel about their poor support towards their brothers 18th .
Definitely contact GP and/or a close friend for support with your MH .X
Edited to suggest that you try contacting a close friend this evening or 111 if you are really concerned for your immediate wellbeing. Where is your son this evening?

Growingaseed · 17/05/2026 21:56

Can you afford to pay for counselling? It sounds like you need it sooner (& for your son who was suicidal)

💙

Original poster
FlorenceAndTheSewingMachine · 17/05/2026 21:59

I just can't go on feeling like this

OP posts:
Galaxylights · 17/05/2026 22:01

You are not alone. We are here for you. Keep talking to us.

Have the adult children been in contact since? It was selfish of them to not acknowledge his birthday.

Happy birthday to your son.

What do you think you would like to happen? What would things look like if you could change them? Are any of those things possible to change now?

When I've felt utter dispair, sometimes meditation has helped. I don't mean that in a glib way. Purarasa has some beautiful videos on YouTube. One video is called walking in the Enchanted woods. Her voice calms my anxiety and mood.

Maybe listening to her will help keep you calm and your thoughts from wondering.

Sorry if this is no help, it just helps me and I wanted to share.

pitchblackromance · 17/05/2026 22:02

111 opt 2 can send request to your GP for an urgent review - that may be an option to go down to get immediate support and then on going support from the GP x

Motnight · 17/05/2026 22:03

Op I hope that this thread is helpful for you.

Original poster
FlorenceAndTheSewingMachine · 17/05/2026 22:12

I just wanted them to acknowledge his birthday, we do so much for them and he wants so little, I just feel this has tipped me over.
I have tried to get online help tonight as I can't talk but I can't. Does any help and I need it

OP posts:
Growingaseed · 17/05/2026 22:18

Kindly I think the grief you are feeling and other things going on are the true reason for what you are feeling.

Yes it's not great behaviour, especially on an 18th. However, I imagine the siblings are in their 20's? People can be a bit self-centered with their own lives at that age. Presumably they just lost a granddad too?

ErickBroch · 17/05/2026 22:21

OP perhaps it might be a good idea to call Samaritans tonight if you can. I can see how much you are struggling and are so unhappy. I am sure your son is ok today, it seems like you gave him a great birthday, but I understand your frustration at your other children.

Orangeballoons · 17/05/2026 22:22

Think of something that you are going to treat yourself to tomorrow. What would you like? A pastry? Do you have a favourite walk nearby?

What are you and the new 18 year old doing next weekend?

Galaxylights · 17/05/2026 22:27

I understand. You must be feeling so down with it all but I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I am also going through it in a way, I am beyond miserable. But I know that I will somehow claw my way out of this and find myself again.

You can too. Your lovely son needs you. You need him. Just try to rest tonight if you can.

EricTheGardener · 17/05/2026 22:35

OP you sound so low. Would you consider a couple of other ways of getting help?

You could try texting SHOUT: https://www.headstogether.org.uk/programmes/give-us-a-shout/

Or you could also try CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) - they have a livechat or WhatsApp until midnight tonight if you can't get through on the phone: https://www.thecalmzone.net/suicide-prevention-helpline

Keep on keeping on, you matter a lot and there is always hope and help.

BlueMum16 · 17/05/2026 22:41

FlorenceAndTheSewingMachine · 17/05/2026 21:59

I just can't go on feeling like this

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this.

Can you keep yourself safe tonight? If not please call 999.

Think about your DC whose birthday it is. Did he enjoy his day and presents?

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