AIBU to think that neighbour was trying to be offensive?

[Sam9769]

I recently (intentionally) lost three stone in weight.
A neighbour quizzed me about how much I had lost and what I eat and what I weigh now.
The next time she saw me she said "How much have you dropped now? You look skinny" I hadn't lost any additional weight since the previous time I met her and I'm a size 10. There was a clear air of disapproval in her tone and I felt that she was speaking down to me.
AIBU to think that she was being offensive?

You can choose not to have that conversation - who asks what someone else weighs? You just say: "Less than before - see you later." Surely?

Why does it matter if they were or weren't. Leave it be and get on with your life. Congratulations on your amazing weight loss 👏

I mean you've certainly written it as though she was being offensive 🤷‍♂️

"There was a clear air of disapproval in her tone and I felt that she was speaking down to me."

So I'm not sure what we're supposed to say?

Probably in some way or another, perhaps she is threatened by it. Insecure people tend not to like it when others improve their lives.

To be honest I wouldn't be engaging in conversations like this with a neighbour. Just wave and carry on walking next time or give a quick "not sure" followed by an "anyway, best be going".

Well, you clearly think she was disapproving, but we’ve no way of knowing. She shouldn’t be commenting on your weight though - very rude of her.

You think she was being disapproving therefore of course it’s offensive. And nosy. And rude. Maybe she’s jealous.

Well you clearly think she was from how you've worded the post.
Have you had skinny jabs and you think that's why she's apparently disapproving?

No jabs. When she asked me what I was eating, I said that I had cut out all ultra processed foods.

There's so many posts recently about people who have lost weight thinking others are angry about it? No one cares?

People are weird about weight loss. I never comment on someone else’s weight unless they’ve made a point to mention it to me. I’ve lost weight recently and have had comments and it just makes me feel awkward. I just nod and smile as they’re hopefully just trying to be what they think is nice. Maybe this person isn’t trying to be disapproving they just don’t express themselves well?

Could also be that they’re jealous, or something else, but don’t let it get to you.

If they ask if you’ve lost weight again just be non committal and change the subject, ‘not sure, oh I love those yellow flowers in your front garden’ or ‘don’t think so, how are your grandchildren doing?’

Thanks for your posts. I think that I was taken aback by her asking me what I weighed which I thought was out of order and should have brushed it off but I just wasn't expecting it. Then when I saw her again and she used the words "how much more have you dropped?" these words seemed disapproving to me even though it was none of her business but she obviously felt that she had a right to ask. Again telling someone that they looked skinny as opposed to slim or well seemed to me like a put down.
My motivation for losing weight was a derogatory comment made to me about my weight by a tradesman who came to our home to quote for laying a patio. Again, my weight was nothing to do with him.
I was really shocked and hurt by his comment even though I knew that I needed to lose weight but hadn't done anything about it until his nasty remark.

The following week I attended Slimming World and continued to do so every week for the following five months, steadily losing 2lbs a week, each week give or take a pound or two until I reached my target.
Losing weight is obviously very personal and not easy so I think that the fact that two virtual strangers thought that they had the right to comment negatively on my weight and in the neighbour's case, ask intrusive questions was hurtful.
I also see, writing this that there is a common thread here. Maybe I am giving off weak vibes sending out messages to people that they can say what they want and that its okay!

It could be she's got family with eating disorders, so it worries her, but she shouldn't be talking to you this way.