To think there aren’t many women who speak without fear?

[ThatQuickLimePombear]

This isn’t meant as a criticism of women, more an observation. I sometimes notice that many women (myself included at times) seem to soften opinions, add disclaimers or hedge what they say to avoid backlash, conflict or being judged. It makes me wonder how many women genuinely feel able to speak freely, without fear of being labelled difficult, aggressive, emotional or “too much”.

AIBU to think speaking without fear still isn’t that common for women?

Yanbu. I would not call it fear so much as good manners but I agree we women are more careful in our communication. I think men just saying whatever is part and parcel of male entitlement.

I think considering how best to phrase things to avoid conflict is sensible and tactful in most situations. I wouldn't call it fearful.
Riding roughshod over other people's feelings when it can be avoided is rude, not brave.

Totally agree.

I absolutely 'speak without fear' and always have done. That doesn't mean I'm an arsehole - I don't go around telling people that they've put weight on, or their new haircut doesn't suit them.

But I feel no need to soften my opinion if asked for it. I am quite straightforward. I don't hedge or soften out of fear of being thought unfeminine or to make people like me more. People can judge me if they like, but that usually says more about them than me. If you ask me what I think I'll give a plain answer without the need to worry about it.

I don't know if fear is the right word, but I think women are socialised much more to think about the impact of what we say in other people, and also maybe some great alt being seen as stupid for saying the wrong thing. Because we are effectively still less respected than men in society when it comes to being knowledgeable and so on.

But men are more likely to learn that they have the right to express whatever opinion they have confidently with less fear of judgement because people are more likely to believe they know what they are talking about.