AIBU to feel uneasy about partner and social media

[Prinnypeach]

To not want partner to follow flings and people he’s slept with on social media?

he says it’s outrageous to unfollow as means nothing and some are from many years ago, doesn’t feel the need to go through followers and get rid.

I don’t really do social media so can’t understand why you’d care to see what ex flings and shags are up to…

AIBU to say id feel more comfortable if he removed them?

This seems like very controlling behaviour from you, OP.

i have ex's and flings on social media and if a partner asked me to delete them it would be a red flag imo

Is he engaging with posts from them? Or is it more like an address book of old contacts? The latter is what my social media is, but I don't spend a lot of time on there.

@CharlotteCollinsneeLucas Not too sure he did say he still looks at their pics and posts etc but again I don’t really use it so unsure how it all works etc

I probably would have minded when I was younger but now I’m in my 30s it wouldn’t bother me. I have people I’ve slept with on my friends list 😳

If they are so meaningless why is he invested in following them?
If they were meaningless to him he would unfollow them and think nothing of it.

@Makemeinvisible I suppose that’s my way of thinking - my friends have always had a clear out when they’ve met someone new just out of respect. He has been known to sit and zoom in on other females photos when I’m sat next to him and which I suppose is where some of the worry and insecurity is coming from.

Well your update really shines a light on him OP.
He absolutely sounds as though he is deliberately wanting to make you feel insecure.
Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who is wanting to let you know he has other options all the time?
He will eat away at your self confidence.

I wouldn't be happy if my DH was sitting next to me looking at pictures of ex-shags. I can't imagine many women or men that would be.

Its not his social media use that is the problem, it's him.

"ex flings and shags"

What a disgusting way to talk about women.

Following someone on SM doesn't necessarily mean you're 'so invested'.

If they were meaningless to him he would unfollow them and think nothing of it.

Not if he doesn't want to be controlled by his partner.

You may think nothing of jumping every time you partner clicks their fingers, but not all of us see that as healthy.

The guy said it was meaningless. Making a point of doing something meaningless isn't about OP being " controlling". It's about him trying to manipulate her feelings .

Especially given OP's update about him viewing close ups of other women when she is sitting beside him. Realistically what kind of loving, caring partner does that?

Yeah ok, if he's doing that I don't think clearing out his contacts will make you feel much better.

I woukd take the poll results with a pinch of salt OP.
The cool wives are rampant on MN at rhe best of times and given the posts on some of rhe other threads on MN today I really really think, and hope, the views expressed on MN aren't typical of the population as a whole.
You have every right and justification to be upset by yiur partners wanting to follw these women on social media..

That’s the issue op, not who’s on his friends list