To think some people give terrible advice because they subconsciously want others to struggle too?

[MiserySharesAdvice]

Not everyone wants you to win, even friends.

Yes, of course that does happen, unfortunately.

We all know people who make strange, sometimes terrible, decisions - it makes sense that any advice they would give is likely to also be strange and/or terrible.

Sometimes yes. But more often I think the issue is that people give advice that matches their own circumstances without considering how applicable they are for others.

For example on marriage and relationships threads people tend to relitigate the problems in their own relationships without stopping to think about whether it bears comparison.

People who make terrible decisions themselves tend to give terrible advice. I know a woman who speaks very confidently about things she knows nothing about.

She is also very jealous of others so maybe she does do it on purpose. One time she told me that she withheld some crucial information from another person 'out of spite', so maybe you are right OP.

A friend told me she’s been giving advice to another friend; the same advice I gave HER that she dug her heels in against and carried on doing despite it being a car crash. Crack on.

Again what do you get out of starting these bizarre threads?

excuse me? I haven’t posted any “bizarre threads” just this one actually.

A few years ago my friend lost a lot of weight, dropping to a size 12. She’s 5ft 1 so technically still overweight. Her obese/overweight friends and family all said she had an eating disorder and that she’d ‘taken the weight loss too far’ 🫠

she regained all the weight plus more and is morbidly obese around 22 stone now and can’t conceive. Sad reallly.

I knew this was going to be another three word username before I even opened the thread.

Yeah right. It’s always a three word username with a similarly worded passive aggressive statement about other people’s behaviour that you never elaborate upon. I’m not the only one who has noticed the pattern and there was one posted yesterday.

Perhaps you noticed a pattern because you spend too much time on here. My username is what it is because of what this thread is about. Get a grip

Agreed.

Jesus, there’s a lot weirder threads on here than this one! And last time I checked, troll hunting wasn’t allowed…

I think some people have terrible boundaries / trust issues / unresolved hurts/ communication skills themselves and so that bleeds into whatever advice they give.

Yes, there’s plenty of bad advice on here. Some given with good intentions but lacking an understanding of the OP’s circumstances. Some who I’m sure just want to create drama or share deliberately controversial opinions.
But it’s the internet. That what happens.

What's wrong with bizarre threads? It's not hurting anyone. Move on if you don't like it, 3 word user name.

yes, I always wonder on threads where OP goes: I have a highly paid fully flexible job where taking time off would mean starting from bottom again. DH is about to be made redundant and our relationship is not good. Not sure what to do about childcare.

Responses: oh you should totally be a SAHM, best decision of my life! Yes sure we're counting the pennies, I can't find any job and DH is shit and I can't afford to leave, but those precious moments..

God yes. I've gone from BMI 32 to 25 (Mounjaro) and jealous types are telling me not to lose more and I'm "too thin" etc. I am no longer too fat, but I am indisputably not too thin. Some people want to keep you in your designated box.

Yep, my daughter has a 'friend' like this who seems to get annoyed whenever DD does better than her at tests, sports etc, and she has taken to giving her some very dodgy advice. I can only guess this is to try to either make her feel better or to try to sabotage DD. Luckily she is starting to see through this and distance herself a bit. It's a hard lesson at 11 that not everyone has the best intentions

Re three-word usernames, I take it you realise MN has an auto-generated username feature? If you're talking about usernames such as 'AngryAzureZebra' (with apologies if anyone actually has that username) they're far more likely to have been generated that way, I'd have thought.

Yes, i very rarely post and have a mumsnet generated name.