Lost control of house/work. How do I get it back?

[burnbabyburnout]

AIBU to think it’s ok to bring in help?

I work 45-50 hours per week, husband does more (work s every day) and we have two smallish kids. I’m used to prioritising work over housework but I’ve lost control. It’s nothing like the dirty house thread, but I wouldn’t want visitors.

im ashamed to be thinking that I can’t actually cope and need to bring in some help, ideally one off then regular cleaning.

AIBU to bite the bullet and pay someone to help me sort myself out?

Of course! You don’t need anyone’s permission. There’s no prize for struggling.

Assuming you can meet all your other bills then get a cleaner without a backwards glance. See them as a way to spend more quality time with the family (and clear a burden for you and your DH).

Absolutely get help of you can. All my cleaning clients were people who had very busy lives, 50 hours a week with kids sounds a killer

Why wouldn’t be ok to get help…?

If your working that many hours a week of course you wouldn’t be unreasonable to get a cleaner in!!

DH and I had to spend a full day blitzing ours yesterday after a series of weekends away, work trips, and some building work meant it had got quite out of hand. We’re hardly show home people but it’s respectable now. If you don’t have the time to do that you will need help.

There is no shame. U can't keep on top of it as a pair if you are not there. Also, if u can afford outside help then why not? I live alone. Up until very recently I gad a cleaner every week. They provided a service I wanted- win win. I didn't want to do it.

Outsource as much as you can afford to. Why do you have even a moment of doubt about this?

You would still need to declutter so the cleaner can clean, or would you?

If you can afford it, do it. But also, if you can afford it, why are you both working so many hours when you have small children? As well as exhausting yourselves it must be rough for them never having time with their parents.

There are services that support with decluttering and tidying, they don't usually come cheap though.

There are decisions you need to make about stuff and where it goes etc.

Photo your rooms one by one and put into AI and ask it to suggest storage solutions.

Think about one room each evening for a week. Not doing but planning. Watch or rewatch SYLO to get inspired. Order stuff from Amazon.

I'm assuming some of those hours worked are unpaid overtime for you both. Can you both take a TOIL day on the same day to not do housework but have a lovely time together without kids and refresh. You sound ground down.

Then tackle the storage issues one weekend while you tag team with the kids.
And after that book the cleaner for a massive deep clean. And weekly cleans after that.

You've a very full life so don't feel guilty

You are both working full out, yes get help if you can afford it, otherwise just do one room where you can relax, and set 15 mins to do say the bathroom , tackle it in small chunks.