To not feel the same about DP anymore?

[Gretasmyname]

To my shame I've found a similar thread of mine(but worse) from 10 years ago!! Been with DP many, many years and have 4 Dc. 3 teens , one older.
Overall happy. He's a good bloke, if a little grumpy. Works hard. What you see is what you get.
Affectionate to me, pays me compliments.
I love him. He loves me. I'd say he's happier with me than I am with him😏
He just seems to have zero interest in much. Not in a depressed way. Just nothing he's crazy about doing. I don't think we would go anywhere if I didn't suggest it. He likes family holidays but only sunshine breaks, nothing too far flung or adventurous. I ant to see the world!!!! Doesn't really like going out as such.

He hasn't made much effort over the years to please me or accommodate my interests. Although as the kids are growing up, he is changing a bit.

I just feel that I do my own thing more now . Go away with my siblings and friends for the things that i like.
I kind of think that this is okay and we get different things from different people.
But I do worry about the life that we will lead once all dc leave home.
I don't really want to do things as a couple, which sounds bad.
I'm not unhappy and I don't want to split up.
I guess perimenopause is adding to this.
Is this how relationships go after 30 years. I can't work out if I am unreasonable or not.
And whether I will overcome this.
If i tried to talk he would say he's OK. He's happy. And I'm making a fuss about nothing.

Maybe I could look at some solo trips. However, I really hate forced activities or making friends. I just want to be with people that I know!
I do have friends and family to go with but there are limits. My mates aren't going to come long haul with me when they families and Dh that go with them!!!

I could’ve written your entire post OP. If you’re content going about life independent of him and he you but you’re still in a loving relationship then just keep doing that. There is no relationship normal. It would be nice to have a proactive partner but some men just aren’t like that and the alternative is to leave and see how that works.

@alpenguin
Thank you.
I am content to a degree but I'm resentful. I feel sad that he has no consideration for me and my feelings. I'm not going to change him though.

I think that, like my ex, your DH sounds incapable of growth, experientially and intellectually. I do remember that nagging disappointment when I realised that he was not going to change and develop at all.

The sad thing is that so many man are just very boring. If it doesn't involve their own tedious interests, they aren't bothered about making any effort at all. I'm in the same boat as you OP but 30 years further on. There has been no sex for 25 years and no affection or even touching.
We've had separate bedrooms for years and our only joint interests are our DC, DGG and the dog. That's it. There's no joint social life or holidays - he's simply not interested, but gets quite arsey when I do things with friends. Sadly, it's too late for me to change anything now, but in your place I'd seriously consider my options. The alternative is living a half life until one of you dies.

I think you need to book up some relationship counseling.

This
I think you have a good set up OP.
And I go on solo holidays where many people have left their partners at home. Very common these days.
You describe a good marriage Imo.
Nobody has everything.

I wouldn't consider relationship counselling
Well I would, but he wouldn't go. He doesn't think that there's an issue. Of course there isn't for him.
I know that you can do it alone but I don't feel that I need counselling. I know the things I'd like to get from a relationship and he doesn't want to compromise.

I suppose! I just feel a bit sad about it that's all.