Separated for 5 years. Split up because my exh was the equivalent of a third child. He still expected me to act like his PA for many years. Had to tell him everything school related even though he works (very part time) at the school and gets all the same emails I do. For a long time contact with the kids was purely at his convenience and when he could fit them in round his love life. He doesn’t pay any maintenance atm. I have taken so many steps, including counselling, on how to deal and communicate with him without losing myself.
Normal arrangement is EOW plus one night a week. But he didn’t have them as usual last weekend due to SATs so we swapped weekends. Which means I haven’t had a “break “ really for 3 weeks.
It has been an intense week due to SATs and my childcare fell through twice so I have been chasing my tail and relying on a lot of goodwill at work. Exh was supposed to pick up kids at 9am this morning but didn’t come till 12pm because he got locked out without his car keys. Annoying but sorted. I had lunch plans with my mum so I called her to let her know that they’d be delayed and explained why.
Have just come to pick my mum up and she told me that she was “so worried” that she called my exh and asked if she could help him. “Can I do anything at all to help” she said. I’m fuming. One tiny inconvenience and people fall over themselves to help him but I’m just expected to get on with it. I feel like all the work I’ve done to take a step back and stop enabling his behaviour, she has just ruined it. I know I am overreacting and she was just being kind but I’m so annoyed and upset.
I know I am BU I just wanted to rant 😭😭