Relocation worries and fears

[headofchaos]

Myself and my family moved an hour away from “home” 4 years ago. I have never truly settled and still feel a huge longing to return “home” to be back close with my friends and family . My son is in primary school year 3. He’s not really met any besties yet and plays with everyone and hasn’t formed any strong connections.
I toy with the idea in my head of moving back “home” sooner rather than later whilst he is so little , but the problem is moving is SUCH an upheaval and we’ve got such a perfect work and school routine going at the moment and I love my job . My husband also has a good job and whilst he can work remotely , it’s nice for him to access the office. If we moved back, I would have to quit my job and find something else quickly and we might not get a school we would want and may have to settle for something that just has places . My husband is also not in favour of going because there is no concrete reason to other than my longing.
what would you do in my shoes ? Just shut up about it and settle down or throw everything up in the air and move back and hope it all lands nicely ? Posting in AIBU for traffic and to ask what people would do !

You have a better life where you are. You want ti go home for nostalgia. What if you son has nobody to play with in a new school?

I'd stay, especially since your husband isn't 100% behind the move

What if your husband's job decidied that he needed to go to the office more, as lots of places do? He'd then be stuck with an hour commute or needing a new job

Too many uncertainties with the move, that may not change things for the better

Focus on the positives that you have in your new location and put your energy into making this area "home" rather than the longing you have to go back to your home area.

“Home” is an hour away !!! Realistically you have barely moved away from home. From the employment reality I would stay … your son will find new friends he certainly won’t find them instantly if did you move “home” again.

Ask yourself why you moved in the first place. Are those reasons still valid?
What would make the current place better and is that fixable?

Which location has better long term job prospects as jobs change or you might want to move to a different employment. While DH can currently work from home now, that might not be the case in a year or two. My company is making physical presence more compulsory now.

Your DC is still young enough to settle in a new school.

An hour away is not really moving away from “home”. We moved 3 hours away and my son was a similar age to yours. He summed it up when he was asked in school to write a paragraph what the area meant to him and if he thought of it as home. He said “home is where I live with my mum, dad & my brother”.

If you are unsure make a list of pros and cons however from what you’ve said I’d stay. An hour away is nothing.

I’d stay where you are and just go back and visit more if you miss it.

I drive an hour to work every single damn day.

Could you not move and commute to work. An hour is a fairly normal commute time.

An hour is not far at all.
You say your work/life situation is ideal, so why change it.
People's situations also change. Imagine moving back and finding all your friends have moved on/away.
Visit often, invite people over, make new friends where you are.

You are an hour away - that’s no distance or time. People move to the other end of the country or overseas ! Your reasons for wanting to move are only based on a feeling and no certainty that your live would be better and in fact could be considerably worse - no guarantee about schooling, you would need a new job which particularly in this climate will be difficult to achieve. What would happen if your DH work wanted him to spend more time in the office ( a trend at the moment). How would you feel to discover the friends you had have actually moved on with their lives and friendships wont be what you thought they would be so the network you thought you were moving back to isn’t there in the same way. Why did you move away originally ? Your DH isn’t keen so likely not to end well even if you managed to get your own way. How would you deal with the resentment if things didn’t work out ? In reality you don’t have a credible argument for the move. Personally I would focus on the good life you have where you are. Often the grass seems greener but the reality often doesn’t live up to expectations.

Nobody is going to think you should quit your job, take your child out of school and drag a reluctant husband an hour away.

Lots of boys don’t have one best friend and play with groups. It’s completely normal and very healthy.

If you aren’t happy then you need to work out why and do something about it but moving schools because your son has not got a best friend is not a good idea.