how to deal with explosive toddler

[hkathy]

Yesterday my 20 month old got so angry he swiped his plate, glass and book off of the table. Then he banged his fists on the table. The way he did it was so ‘adult’ and it kind of took me by surprise. He is my second child, it’s not like I’m new to tantrums.

It reminded me of how angry my dad used to get. I was just taken aback, it made me realise I need to not raise an angry man. I want to teach him, from now, how to calm his emotions - without suppressing them. How do we do that?

bump

It sounds like you are projecting. There's nothing scary about a 20-month-old tantrumming. You may want to try to deal with this fear within yourself before he gets any older.

Why are you giving him glass? Back to the beaker for you angry little boy

I think there is a level of projection yes you’re right, also the thought that angry men were also once toddlers in dinosaur pyjamas

It was a plastic glass

He sounds like a pretty normal toddler having a tantrum. I don't think it's anything to worry about and certainly not something to be feared. One of mine had lots of tantrums at that age, he's a very normal calm 29 year old man now with no anger issues.

How do you deal with tantrums? I always ignored it for the most part and just removed anything likely to cause harm and let them ride it out. Don't give lots of attention for it (telling off and trying to reason with a disregulated toddler is pointless) and when they've calmed down, just say 'Oh have you finished? Shall we go and read a book/have some lunch/play in the garden?' It's just a developmental stage they grow out of, don't build it up into more than that in your head.

He's a 2 year old having a tantrum - he's not going to become an "angry man".

😅