How do people or why do they think everything in life is fair ?

[IsabellaVireauxLaurent]

basically anytime someone eg has an advantage or eg gets a promotion over someone, or what ever it may be, some will always say its not fair but how can life or any situation be truly fair when theres always context or other factors, plus who says whats fair, and to who etc

Some of MN loves a good old "it's not faaaaaiiiirrrr" rant.

People are perceive that they are "excluded" all the time - this applies to children re parties and fully grown adults re nights out and everything in between.

I always picture the Harry Enfield sketch where the entire football team are always running around the pitch as one big group.

Life is not - and has never been - fair.

thats the thing life can never be fair , but yet everyone seems to have a different idea of whats fair,

Most people don’t actually want fairness at all, they want their own way.

Fairness is a good aspiration.

I presume that people start a thread just to have a moan and get it off their chest really.
On a logical level, people know that life isn't "fair", however wonderful that would be, but things that happen to us, or those close to us involve emotion, not just logic.

true but how can it truly be fair unless all factors are the same ?

true, similar with freedom of speech, they only want that when its only their speech

All factors don't have to be the same for people to feel things are fair.

Fairness doesn't require the exact same circumstances but it does require that all judgements made are impartial, reasonable and without favoritism or discrimination.

People accept that someone is paid more than them or that someone gets promotion over them so long as they can see the justification for it is reasonable (fair).

If Sally gets the job I wanted because she has more qualifications then me then I see that as fair.

If Sally and I have the same qualifications but she the job I wanted because her mum is the boss then I don't see that as fair.

This!

The number of times I've seen the "it's not fair" and what they really want is it to be unfair in their direction. Especially the "I've got a much better idea for how school admissions should work". ie this way my dc has a better chance at the school they want.

It reminds me of one toddler group I was at. There were two older end boys - nearly school age, and one found a particular piece of Lego, and was waving it around and saying "look what I have, it's better than yours". The other boy quietly rummaged through the Lego and found not one, but two similar bits.
Cue the first boy throwing himself on the floor crying that it wasn't fair that the other boy had two and he only had one... and the other boy should give one to him. No matter how his mum tried to explain that that wouldn't be fair in the opposite direction, he would not have it; the only possible fair way was for him to be given a second.

That's what a lot of the "it's not fair" lot remind me of.

true

thank you for this as its a good point

I wish people would bear that in mind when they're frothing over the existence of benefit cheats or poor people getting anything that they don't.

Nail meet head.

People who have never been told No, people who have always been coddled, who have always been over explained, people who have always eventually been given it or distracted as opposed to NO JOHNNY you can't have that...

They then have a distorted view what "fair" is and it follows them through life.

MIL is constantly going on about things not being "fair" and it is exasperating. It's like talking to someone who never made it past the age of 8 years old.

I have one of those. If she'd spent 89 years seeing the brightside, life would have been better. Positivity matters.

Life varies over the years - sometimes it’s fair, sometimes it’s not. No one has a perfect life.

When my children used to grumble about something not being fair I used to listen and sympathise with whatever was upsetting them, but say very clearly that life is not always fair.

@AlexaStopAlexaNo Is right. Also, people who frequently complain about how unfair life is treating them go very quiet when life's unfairness works in their favour. Or perhaps when that happens they just feel entitled.

A lot of vitriol seemed to target boomer inheriters. Especially on mumsnet. Vitriol because although their parents endured years of war, austerity and rationing, they pulled themselves out of it by working hard, going without luxuries, scrimping and saving to get a mortgage. No universal credit cushions, etc. My Dad did two jobs and my mother did dressmaking at home just to keep our heads above water. Their brick and mortar investment wasnt seen as money making , it was a home. They never foresaw, or caused the rapid rises in properties.
Now we have the shriekers shrieking "its not fair why should THEIR children benefit waah waah. (Those whose parents didnt have their assets drained away by years in a nursing home)
Is it fair that these people stand to benefit from their parents will?
Yes it is fair, 💯 absolutely!!

Ah Dollymylove, we can always rely on you for the hot take ....

Anyway, I agree OP, people love to single out one thing and pounce on it as being unfair, without considering the hundreds of other factors in the situation - both micro (the person's own life) and macro (economic, societal).

You see it all the time with people complaining about benefits recipients getting something they don't, with this being "unfair". And yet they fail to consider how unfair it is that they themselves were born into completely different circumstances - a fundamental problem that has been bothering humanity for hundreds, probably thousands of years, as we see in old folk songs, myths and stories.

all good points everyone,

And there are some unfairnesses which are simply out of our control and we just have to accept them.

I agree with this @MrsShawnHatosy - and, more importantly, we need to be teaching our children to accept them too.

Children do not benefit from always winning/never losing at anything.

I don't think it is a good aspiration and no one actually wants it tbf.

I see it as a statement of unfulfilled entitlement given often by those that were always given their own way if they complained enough.

Life is categorically unfair and a huge divide between the haves and have-nots. You can complain about it or figure out how to improve your chances to be a "have".