Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Surely I should be told?

9 replies

ChompandaGrazie · 15/05/2026 13:25

Name changed for this just in case!

I’ve been in my job for three years. My boss is based in another country and is not the best at communicating, to the point that I can go weeks without hearing from him. (It’s rarely a for day-to-day work, as I get briefed directly by colleagues for most tasks.)

There’s someone else in the company who does a different job to mine, but at the same level and with a certain amount of crossover (to the point that I would cover her work when she’s on leave or off sick, and vice versa). A couple of months ago, I heard on the grapevine that she was leaving and that it was a compromise agreement type situation. I expected to hear more, but never did, so had mentally dismissed it as a misunderstanding or something that had come to nothing.

Anyway, this week she has “looking for work” posts all over LinkedIn, with current staff members commenting too! And I have still been told absolutely nothing direct from her or my boss - not one word. No idea when she’s going, how much of her work is coming my way, what will happen to the sign-off procedure (most projects need one of us - am I now doing it for both?)… just radio silence.

I hadn’t asked earlier as I was waiting for an official announcement, and when one didn’t come, I genuinely thought it might all be office gossip. But you don’t tout for a new role on LinkedIn unless you’re leaving your current one, do you?

AIBU to think it’s shit that I’ve been told nothing, as the person it arguably affects most?

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 15/05/2026 13:28

Email your boss, say that you have heard she is leaving, and you would like to know if there are plans to replace her, as the two of you tend to back each other for holidays etc.

Upward management is a skill 😊

Thepeopleversuswork · 15/05/2026 13:44

Yes you absolutely should have been told. It's probably a contentious,possibly legal issue which hasn't been ironed out yet and they may be having to tread carefully around it but someone should have told you as a courtesy.

You do also need to be proactive about it: contact your boss and see if you can get a bit of clarity on what is happening.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/05/2026 13:46

There could be reasons they haven’t told you yet, but I’d just email the boss and ask now it’s public knowledge

ChompandaGrazie · 15/05/2026 13:58

Thepeopleversuswork · 15/05/2026 13:44

Yes you absolutely should have been told. It's probably a contentious,possibly legal issue which hasn't been ironed out yet and they may be having to tread carefully around it but someone should have told you as a courtesy.

You do also need to be proactive about it: contact your boss and see if you can get a bit of clarity on what is happening.

Yes, I did wonder if there was a legal issue. Many years ago (different company) my team was told someone senior had been redundant, before some frantic backtracking from HR the next day to say it was merely a consultation period.

I do feel like I can/should ask now.

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 15/05/2026 14:00

ChompandaGrazie · 15/05/2026 13:58

Yes, I did wonder if there was a legal issue. Many years ago (different company) my team was told someone senior had been redundant, before some frantic backtracking from HR the next day to say it was merely a consultation period.

I do feel like I can/should ask now.

Yes you absolutely can and should ask. Particularly if its all over social media.

Arlanymor · 15/05/2026 14:02

I think you literally email that you have seen that she is job hunting on social media and ask if you can please be updated if indeed she is leaving and when this might be happening so that you can have a discussion about the potential impact on your role. That's perfectly fair. There may be very valid reasons why they have not been able to tell you yet - often happens with compromise agreements that they go back and forth for some time.

itsallsohard · 15/05/2026 19:11

Wouldn't the simplest thing be for you to ask her directly? Not as in why, but just whether she is leaving and when?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 15/05/2026 19:13

itsallsohard · 15/05/2026 19:11

Wouldn't the simplest thing be for you to ask her directly? Not as in why, but just whether she is leaving and when?

That wouldn’t tell OP all the info she needs though, she needs communication from her boss regardless

ChompandaGrazie · 15/05/2026 19:58

itsallsohard · 15/05/2026 19:11

Wouldn't the simplest thing be for you to ask her directly? Not as in why, but just whether she is leaving and when?

I could, but I feel such a fool saying “I’m guessing from your LinkedIn post that you’re leaving…”

Plus she’s been offline all day today. I think the mental shutdown has begun 😬

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page