AIBU to say clear the building materials or I leave?

[BetteDavisChin]

When we got together, my H and I bought a doer upper house. Took us two years. When it was almost done we moved in. Our large garden had piles of left-over materials strewn all over - piles of bricks, concrete, stacks of roof tiles, bags of sand, lengths of pipes, you get the idea.
It was left like this for 2-3 years. I did as much as I could myself to tidy up as he wouldn't help.
Long story short, we moved house and I stupidly agreed to buy another doer upper, stipulating that he had to get rid of any surplus.
The work was finished around 3-4 months ago. Guess what? It has happened again- surplus building materials all over the garden and no sign of it being moved😡
We are 12 years older than the last time and I do a bit of tidying away every day, but I'm worn out and sick to death of living like this.
I want to give him a choice - get it sorted or I am leaving.

AIBU?

We grew up with a DM that made idle threats and we just ignored her.

I feel your pain, after a series of doer-uppers, I'm really tired.

The issue is that he should be doing it and isn't and he broke his promise that he would. When he starts wittering about moving, put your foot down.

Once is a mistake, twice or more, definitely not. Definition of madness.

I think you need to list it on your local freebies Facebook group rather than on marketplace, but yes it should be your DH dealing with that mental load not you.

Why should he be doing it? Are women incapable of moving building rubble and chucking it into a skip?
OP, I’ve lived in 2 doer uppers and we have worked together to do certain tasks, most prominently filling bloody skips! It’s a job I hate, as does DH, but clearing rubbish together gets the job done quicker.

You’ve not read her post properly, she clearly says she is doing her share, she wants him to do his share too.

Handy man for a day and a skip, much cheaper than divorce.

Hire someone and hope DH feels some secondhand embarrassment about failing to pull his weight.

Then she shouldn’t threaten to?

OP, what is stopping you just arranging to have the stuff cleared yourself?

I’m aware of that, I was answering someone else!

Absolutely, I agree with you and have done many a skip load plus many builder's bags of whatever. I'm the "leaver/not completer/finisher" in our relationship, so things get half-done all the time until I finally sort it.

But here, it was part of their agreement and he's not fulfilled his promise.

She should know better tho and just get it sorted.

One last thought but if you have been able to get through two doer uppers in your time together in spite of your current thoughts about adding him to the skip you hire that actually says an awful lot about your relationship and how good it is. The is incredibly impressive and no mean feat.

This is such a none problem! Just phone a rubbish removal firm or like others have suggested put it on Facebook 🤷🏼‍♀️