Potty training question

[UniqueKhakiCat]

Are all kids who are not potty trained by 36 months neurodivergent?
any of you with a kiddo who was late to potty train but just wasn’t ready before ?

No. Twin mum. One took three days, other room months.

I now work in a nursery (not the UK). There are a few 'late bloomers' when it comes to potty training.

My son was incapable and I was despairing but something clicked just after three after several aborted attempts. He then got nights very quickly after.

He was late at every milestone including crawling, walking. You wouldn’t know it know as a 11 year old doing well academically and rep level sports.

I do think that’s unusual though, compared to mother’s group. They were all done by 2-2.5. I was pretty worried at the time.

No
Some are just later to train then others
My oldest got it a few months after his 3rd birthday.

Mothers groups do get very competative about these things
I remember taking my now 19 year old to one
And it made me feel inadequate.

My little girl is 3 year old and 3 months if I take her she poos and pees in the potty but rarely tells me when she needs to go ( maybe once a day ) and still has accident when absorbed into playing

No of course not.
For years and years kids have been having accidents. Nothing wrong with them at all.
It's not at all abnormal for kids to still be having daily accidents at 5. It's just mothers don't talk about it as it's embarrassing.
With both my sons I had to ensure always had spare clothes all the time until they were gone 6. Nothing wrong with either of them.

No, mine still struggles with poos on a toilet at 4 despite us having tried everything. No signs of ND at all. Doctor said that often confident, outgoing kids in other areas can really dig their heels in with PT. Been the hardest part of parenting for me.

Not a sign of neurodivergence. Extremely normal for accidents even into year 1 of school! Very normal to be distracted playing. Sometimes it just takes time and patience.

despite numerous tries my DD just wasn’t ready til she was 4, no concerns about neurodivergence, she could t walk til 2 either which may have contributed, but it was just so clear when she finally ‘got it’ that she was completely ready x

Oh so happy to know .. is she doing well in general ?

I've known of a few children later to toilet train. Sometimes it's the child not ready, other times the parents more relaxed and waiting for the child to lead rather than starting it off. Doesn't mean they are ND.

DD is coming up to 3.5 years. She's smart and extremely outgoing and has taken to every aspect of 'growing up'. Except potty training!
She does 100% of wees on the toilet and understands the process, but 0% of poos. Holds them in until night time and we're at our wits end about it. Tried reward charts, big gestures, not reacting in the moment and discussing it later etc but nothing has worked.
At this point I am more concerned about creating a long term issue around poo so we're forcing ourselves to calm down about it.

She is definitely not ND! Just a willful toddler.

My nephew is 2.5 and not yet trained. He would be if he was trained but his parents haven’t had the time yet.

Yes I had this with child number two. She waited for her night time nappy to poo for a good eight months after being day time trained for wees.

We also decided to go with it as she had a tendency to be constipated despite best efforts and we didn’t want to make it worse.

It all worked out, mainly because she effectively night trained and didn’t want to wear a nappy to bed anymore.

I do think TT was the hardest part of parenting to date.

i wish I could meet you 😅😅 I mean mine has slept through the night since she was 12 months old and never woke up once in nearly 2 years but potty training is proving so so difficult.. does yours go to nursery ? 🙂

DD is a okay sleeper, she has quite disturbed sleep but most of the time resettles herself.

She's been in nursery 2 days a week since January, we've only been sending her in pants for the last month or so. She was initially resistant to weeing at nursery and was attempting to hold that too. Got over it eventually.

Literally just last night we had a breakthrough. She actually called for me and told me she'd done the poo instead of staying quiet and falling asleep. (I've been having to go and check 15 minutes after putting her to bed)

Hang in there! DD quite liked imaginative play of making her toys / dolls use the potty and toilet, is that something you've modeled?

Yes and like your daughter she loves putting her bunny on the potty and I keep reminding her to tell me if she needs potty but I am not having much success at the moment ..

Thank you all really 🙂 am I going about the right way when I keep asking her ( every 45 minutes ) if she needs the toilet ?

Oldest was potty trained at 3 and he’s autistic. He was dry at night for ages when he was 2. Our issue was actually poos because anything that looked like a toilet to him he did them in, unfortunately. It was a rough time. Got there before reception started if I recall correctly before he did those in in the potty consistently. Think it helped that he didn’t like being wet.

Middle took longer and he is also ND, waiting on the assessment, but highly likely AuDHD. He would get distracted, wait last minute. Got him sorted before he entered reception. Has had an accident here and there once in a blue moon which is normal even for NT children.

Youngest is 2.5 and we’re almost there. She wees in the nappy and then rips it off and is happy without nappy for a bit and then will say she wants one on, wees in it and then takes it off.

She’s seen all of us go potty and will sit on it but won’t wee in it.

She will tell us that she has done a poo after the fact.

Just have our wires crossed a bit. She’ll get there.

thanks very informative what traits did you notice to get a diagnosis for autism and adhd

My DD was terrified of sitting on the toilet, I just gently asked her if she’d like to try and was very breezy when she refused. Two days ago (she’s now 3 years and 4 months), she decided she wants to use the toilet herself. I was just happy that she was sitting in it but she actually did a poo! We made such a big deal of it and gave her loads of praise. Can’t get her off the toilet now haha. She just takes herself off the the toilet to wee and poo herself. Can hardly believe it. Some kids just take longer, don’t feel pressured at all.

We’ve all had a friend who insists that her baby was clean and dry at 15 months. Ignore them, it’s probably not true, your child will get there.

Oh yes !!! I also got “ your kid is either neurodivergent or you are a lazy parent .. they should all be potty trained by 2.5 YO max “

Sorry. Just saw this post now.

Oldest only said a handful of words and still does at 11 but does understand instructions.

It was suspected either autism or speech delay around 3/4 when he was in nursery. He was a pretty easy baby/toddler, just didn’t say a lot of words. Think because our environment was naturally quiet and routine, he didn’t have any other noticeable traits. He would get upset out of nowhere but then it went as quickly as it came. He wasn’t answering to his name at nursery but he would at home. He was meeting most of his targets except speech. They said it could be autism but they wanted to make sure it wasn’t something physical. Saw audiologist, ENTs and he was fine physically so did a private appt and we weren’t even in the room 15 minutes and said it was autism. We weren’t on a list then but informed his school’s SEN team.

It was much more noticeable when he was in reception because the set-up was much louder than when he was in nursery. 60 children in a large room with only a divider of loos, sinks , and a place to hang coats and bags, not surprising it was too much.

Diagnosed at 5. The assessment was eye-opening and realised DH was undiagnosed ND.