AIBU for feeling guilty about returning to work?

[bloomrose49]

Just looking for some input/someone to calm my nerves from those who have had experience with the same thing.

So I have been a SAHM for nearly 4 years now after having 2 children under 2 and giving up work due to lack of support/it made sense money wise. I have 4 children - two in primary, one about to start primary in Sept and one who is 2.

Im a qualified teacher and I have just, after nearly 4 years out of work, secured a teaching job due to start in Sept. I am amazed as I interviewed at 12 and got the phone call by 4 to say I had got it. The only thing is I am now feeling insanely guilty on my kids as I won’t be there for school pick ups or drop offs as I am working 8:30-3:30 five days a week. I am worried about my youngest as he is so unbelievably shy and has never been to preschool before, however I have got him into a lovely preschool that he is due to start just before I go back to work and I am hoping he thrives there but I have so many fears due to how shy he is.

Am I just over thinking things? My older two went full time from very young and they were fine and it helped them socially etc. I feel selfish for wanting my career back (and money wise it is a must) and guilty I won’t be able to do the school runs or have a day in the week with my toddler.

Congratulations on the job. It's natural to worry a bit but it will all work out. How long before you start the job will the youngest start in childcare? Have you got support?

I always refused to feel guilty about anything a dad wouldn’t feel guilty about

Absolutely!
Congratulations on the job op.

He is having settling in sessions in August, I start on the 4th Sept and his first day will be the 8th of Sept. Yes I do from my partner but we don’t have any other immediate family support unfortunately

Congrats on the job. You are a person as well, not just a mother. You are allowed to want something for yourself too. Everyone will adapt. Your 2yo will only know going to school as normal, because all their siblings do it and he will think it’s how things are. You will get school holidays with them though, so that’s a big win. And you will have money then to do stuff with them

Congratuations on your new job! That's so impressive that they called you the same afternoon. You're a stunner!

Be sure to start talking now to all your children about how pleased and excited you are and how much you love them and are excited about having lots of fun times in the holidays.
Can the older ones talk about their pre-school memories and fun times at school to encourage the younger ones? Maybe older ones have advice (don't bring your favourite toy, etc)
Also, as mum of 4, you've probably noticed that the younger ones learn so much from the older ones that they are ready for everything sooner. Your DCno4 is probably ready for uni by now 😂

Ah thank you so much. My older two are always telling the younger two how much fun they have at school etc so I will tell them to keep doing so. I keep having conversations with the toddler about preschool etc. I’m really hoping he’ll take me by surprise and absolutely love it.

Well done and although you won’t be doing drop off and pick ups you will have all the holidays with them - I would much rather that!

Your youngest might not settle at first but he will do!