AIBU to leave an old acquaintance on read after years?

[MiniLights]

I just received a WhatsApp message from someone I used to know. So much time has passed that his number wasn't saved on my phone. I didn't recognise his picture but I could see his name.

His message was about the current shenanigans in the Labour Party and back when I knew him I was very active in the party. I am no longer a member.

For context he wanted a casual friends with benefits situation back then, and I didn't but I flirted with him some and we lost touch.

I'm annoyed because I read the message which he will have seen but I have no desire to be back in touch.

AIBU to leave him on read? A tiny bit of me wants to know why he's back in touch after 11 or more years. But I'm married now and I don't think I have anything to say to him.

ELEVEN OR MORE YEARS?

Thats……wow!

I wouldn’t still have the number of someone if I hadn’t heard from them for that length of time. Does he know you’re now married?

Leaving on read really isn’t a big deal. Much more rude to not even bother reading the message. Don’t think any more about it

I wouldn't give it another thought. If you don't want to reply, don't. If you're curious about why he's contacting you now, after all this time, reply. It could be something as innocent as him being reminded of you by current Labour coverage, if you used to be very active in the party.

I contacted an ages-old FWB for the first time in years when there was a highly publicised crime which involved multiple passersby being hurt and one killed at our joint former workplace. It just made me think of him for the first time in forever. We're both married. It was just a nice, brief exchange of news. I wasn't fantasising about dragging him back into my bed or anything.

I don't think so. We're not Facebook friends or anything.

But I don't know why he's in touch now.

Oh, even if I weren't now married I would not be interested. I wasn't interested back then except he was so keen on me that I was curious.

You could tell him you have left the Labour party, perhaps when. Then no more contact.

A tiny bit of me wants to know why he's back in touch after 11 or more years.

Do you really need to ask?.

He's looking for a fuck.

Don't even reply. Even better, block his number.

Eleven years! I'd just block, he wasn't a friend.

11 years? And acting as if so much time hasn’t passed? Very strange.

I occasionally think of people from my past, but certainly wouldn’t message them.

I probably wouldn’t reply

You're probably right.

I don't actually know how long it's been. I moved in with my husband before we were married in December 2015. And the last time I saw him was when I was living in a house I moved out of in 2013 or 2014. We may have messaged after I last saw him in person but definitely not since I moved in with DH.

It's just so weird. He didn't even say, hi it's x, how are you? Etc

I thought you couldn't see the pic on WhatsApp if you don't have the number saved. I can't. I'm self employed and get messages from people i don't know all the time. I can't see their pic

It depends on the person’s privacy settings

Is it an individual message to you, or could it be a copy and paste or sent to multiple contacts?
If quite personalised I might reply very briefly and I’d delete and completely forget about it if it’s impersonal and probably sent to many.

Everyone who messages me must have it set that way then

It was a number and underneath it said ~ X... X....... which was his name. I don't think it was a group message.

I could see his pic. The message was Enjoying the left wing chaos.

He never messaged me in the Corbyn years.

Yes, I wasn’t suggesting you were. I’m just saying I contacted a former FWB for entirely unsexual reasons after years of no contact when a news story reminded me of him. I was literally saying ‘Hi, hope you’re ok.’ He responded similarly. Is it not possible this guy’s motivation is equally innocent?

Just to clarify, this I moved in with my husband before we were married in December 2015 should have said I moved in with the man who is now my husband in 2015. We married in 2023.

It might have been meant for someone else?

Oh quite possibly. Which is why I'm curious. And I'm not suggesting you were implying I was interested in him sexually. I was clarifying because some posters might think he was rekindling a previous relationship/situation.

That is possible. I can't rule it out. But I've had the same number since the last century.