AIBU to be out of ideas

[dooroo]

I’m out of ideas.

Doesn’t respond to consequences and doesn’t respond to praise. (5.) I know I’m going to get flamed here but I don’t know what the fuck to do and am close to giving up and saying do what the hell you want as he does anyway.

What is the specific behaviour and what consequences have you tried?

Tonight it feels like fucking everything! Here’s what we’ve had.

1. Throwing stones in the garden. Told if he threw another one he’d have to come inside. Threw another one. Came inside.
2. Hit me. Sent upstairs on a time out. Laughed. Called me a ‘stupid bummy bummy.’ (Ah the insults of five year olds
3. Kept climbing on the dining room table. Consequence in theory is that well your dinner is over then but doesn’t care (just unpleasant as hungry.)

That doesn’t even touch the small stuff that isn’t small, the swinging on the doors, the mess made with food, the arguing about everything.

He is tired but FFS.

Sounds like a lot of it is for attention, is he trying to get a reaction out of you? To small children, angry attention is better than no attention. I would start by ignoring the low level annoying behaviour as much as you can. If you have to step in and remove him from the situation, do it with as neutral a face and voice as possible - just a 'no' said in a normal voice, not raised, and lift him down or bring him inside or whatever. When he's doing something good, give LOTS of praise and attention, tell him you love his company and having a nice time together. If you've fallen into negative behaviour patterns (him misbehaving to wind you up, you getting cross and shouting) then you need to switch it up. Ignore the bad and praise the good as much as you can.

The after-school to bedtime is the hardest part of the day, they've been well behaved in school all day, they're tired, hungry and as a result cranky. Mine were in the bath and then bed by 6.30, read lots of stories and lights out at 7. Having a few hours to yourself in the evening can save your sanity! After tea was always 'quiet time' winding down at the end of the day, no noisy games or running around!