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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Incidental costs for children - who should pay?

33 replies

hoisttocrew · 13/05/2026 23:14

My ex husband has decided to stop covering incidental costs for my children. He pays over £550 per month in child maintenance, and I also receive a share of his pension (lump sum already received, and monthly payments as well). My salary is £85k, and I receive over £900 per month in rent from my new partner. My ex husband lives nearby and has asked for equal access to our children, but I have refused. When he asked why, I got my solicitor to threaten him with court action for harassment and intimidation.

AIBU to expect him to cover incidental costs on top of what he already pays?

OP posts:
pinkfondu · 14/05/2026 12:38

try per visit 🙄

Yetone · 14/05/2026 12:40

TheZTeam · 14/05/2026 12:25

Reverse?

Of course it is!

whyohwhyisitalwayswet · 14/05/2026 12:45

Why do people bother with reverses? I just don't get it. Just ask what you have to, and folks will help the best they can!

Naunet · 14/05/2026 13:05

My ex husband lives nearby and has asked for equal access to our children, but I have refused. When he asked why, I got my solicitor to threaten him with court action for harassment and intimidation

Sure you did. 🙄

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · 14/05/2026 14:00

If your new partner wants to see his children, he will go to mediation and then court. You don't need to do anything.

BMW58 · 14/05/2026 14:05

I hope he goes to Court, gets 50/50 PR so doesn't have to give you any money at all.

Well that's what I'd say if this wasn't a painfully obvious reverse.

Really annoying

nam3c4ang3 · 14/05/2026 14:08

i fucking HATE reverses.

sugarpiebunnyhunch · 14/05/2026 14:14

LizandDerekGoals · 13/05/2026 23:15

Well this sounds like a reverse

It really does!

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