AIBU to keep replaying something foolish I said on a work call?

[MyCheeryMouse]

Not a big f up. But really said something stupid when asked question by c level when really I should have said “I’m not sure, will check and come back to you”

can’t stop going over and over it in my head.
about 10 others were on the call and witnessed it. Made me look a bit stupid and rubbish at my job.

no one else probably cares that much. But AIBU to be cringing and kicking myself almost constantly since 3pm today!? How do I get over this, like now!? Does anyone else go over and the stupid stuff they said at work?

What did you say?

I gave an incorrect explanation about something, when I should have said I don’t know. Don’t want to say more as can be outing.

Was what you said incorrect, dangerous, or just a bit muddled? If incorrect, follow up by email or a chat asap and provide the correct answer. Then forget it. If dangerous, do as above, apologise and also raise with your line manager re next steps or training if needed. If muddled, forget it. We all do it and I can guarantee it wasn't half as bad as you think!

Nobody else will care or likely remember, honestly.

unless you stripped off a d called them all cunts I honestly wouldn’t worry

Thank you. Yes it was definitely more muddled, and harmless. I just feel like a fool and kicking myself.

Just incorrect? Unless massively so, don't stress it. A quick "hi John, I don't think I explained X very well yesterday. I've set out how it works below. Hope this is helpful.

And then never think of it again!

oh this made me laugh. I know it’s not going to be a big deal. I’m just so embarrassed.

Email out to all on the call, saying you just wanted to clarify on the call earlier you said x but have realised you meant y
and apologies for the error
own it and move on

Aw OP I feel your pain. I had to deliver a presentation at work today (my first one) and it was awful! So I am also replaying work stuff in my head. My saving grace is I probably won't see any of the audience again, but doesn't stop that horrible feeling in my stomach!

What @CastleCrasher said

Just email.

They will think you are proactive.

Email the person who asked you the question and say
"Apologies, I made an error on the call yesterday. When you asked me X, I said Y, but on checking I found it was actually Z. Please let me know if you'd like me to update others on the call"
Recognising your error and acknowledging it looks better than them finding out you were wrong. We all make mistakes. Including them.

Basically someone was able to correctly explain it in the meeting. Hence why I feel stupid! So can’t send a follow up. It’s done. They moved on. I’m stuck reliving it.

Solidarity. I hope you move on soon! I know the feelings will pass x

The focus of the person asking the question was getting the answer, not reviewing your performance. They got it from someone and that will be their takeaway. Put it behind you and carry on being as good as you can at your job. It's your performance in general that matters not the odd gaff in a meeting.

Forget it. You're your own worst judge no one else will care. I used to be the same. Its always worse to you.

Aw i know what you mean. I once answered something a but TOO honestly in a meeting with the CEO and CFO and my boss and counterpart in another dept were like 😱 because it could have ment slashed budgets.
Learned then to pause a moment and consider before blurting out an answer.

(Nothing happened btw)

Nobody expects 100% on an exam and you've already got the job soooo 😆🫢

Hopefully whoever corrected you had the grace to "build on that great point that MyCheeryMouse made"

I’m c-suite and people say foolish stuff in front of me all the time. But not as much as I’ve said foolish stuff myself. Honestly we have all been there.

I get it, we can be intimidating as a group by virtue of our positions and people get nervous. I don’t think twice about it unless the person involved doubled down, was rude or arrogant.

don’t stress over it but if you do feel compelled to email be brave and acknowledge that you got it wrong. Fudging it/making excuses never lands well

I say stupid stuff at work constantly. A person from head office came in to visit earlier this year and was asking questions about critical control procedures, I said to her “as long as the numbers are in the green, do whatever you need to do to keep them that way”

I work in one of the heaviest regulated industries with one mistake being enough to end the company, or kill a person.

I expected to be fired on the spot! By some miracle she agreed with me, now I think about it that’s extremely concerning from a public safety perspective but the point is I didn’t get in trouble and everyone has forgotten about it now.

I think you can move on from it OP, people unlikely to remember it even tomorrow. I have definitely been there but I just try to move past it and focus on making good punchy points in the next meeting.

I still replay some stuff from years ago! I also occasionally hear my direct reports on call and cringe for them - waffling and totally unable to read the tone of the meeting.

However I also attend a meeting where I literally say nothing and am sure others on the call wonder why I’m there. It’s even worse when other people make the point that I have in my head but don’t say out loud.

Is this kind of rumination usual for you OP or is it just this one incident?

If it's usual then seeking reassurance constantly will make this cycle worse and worse.

I've had these kind of ruminating thoughts before and saying to myself "maybe they will, maybe they wont" is the best thing. When you allow the uncertainty and let your anxiety peak and then fade (which I promise it will) in the long run, it will help you more. Your brain will realise that it doesnt have to predict everything and over analyse everything little detail of your interactions for you to feel safe.

If you constantly seek reassurance you feel instant relief in the moment but it reinforces the idea that you have in fact, done something wrong and that you must have certainty for you to be ok.

OP, Your question was about AIBU to replay that response.... and @DontOpenTheFourthDrawer answered it perfectly...but having said that, you've had some excellent advice on rectifying the initial error.
We've all done it...most people are forgiving and gracious, do what has been advised, then the ruminating will stop.
Best of luck, @MyCheeryMouse it'll all be OK!

Unless anyone smirked, then I would forget about it. It’s a lesson learned, they probably believed you were correct.

this is something in you that sees being wrong or imperfect as something to be ashamed about. If you have a bit of a google you’ll find things to help you work on it. I know as I can be terrible for it.