I have a 12 year DS from my first marriage and two 7 year old girls with my current DP.
DS sees dad eow but he has recently moved a bit further away and DS doesn't want to go for the whole weekend as he likes to see his friends etc so he is going two Saturday nights a month. His dad used to bring him to football once a week for me but when his new gf got pregnant and he told me he was moving I said that we would have to look at CSA payments as I knew moving further away he wouldn't be around to help out as much as he did (once a week to football as my DP works shifts and the football was at my DD bedtime). So we had an agreement that I wouldn't take full CSA if he did one football training a week (I did the other football training night).
Anway when I went to CSA it turns out he had been underpaying by £200 a month for the last 9 years...he told me that he wouldn't be doing football anymore for DS if I dared take the full CSA anyway I did so he is now being very very difficult about everything.
DS has summer exams starting and he is in grammar school so it is very full on- we got into an argument last night about his studying and he said how he would much rather live with his dad and his new gf and their baby as its nicer in their house. We both calmed down and we spoke and he said I don't do anything fun with him when he goes to his dads his dad does, he also said I shout and nag too much. I do shout a lot our house is very full on and the DD are a handful. I am a bit hurt that DS is thinking like this as I do everything for him and his sisters. Even when he is with his dad his dad won't give him any money for things so I have to send DS money if he wants something (because he pays CSA). His dad goes on numerous holiays a year with his GF we do one family holiday a year myself and my DP never go away just the two of us because we can't afford to. The children always come first. Obviously I can't say this to DS but I am just a bit disheartened that dad who does so little is seen as being the best. I asked DS would he prefer to live with his Dad full time and he said maybe eventually. How can I handle this? I do tell DS off about his school work and for these tests I am being hard on his to study as he has failed his last set of tests because he didn't study at all so I gave him the chance to be independent it didn't work so back to my rules about school.