I have just been diagnosed with ADHD at 40 - please share experiences

[haju]

I wasn’t sure where to post this but I just need to talk to someone about this.

I suspected for a while I have it. Now it has been confirmed but it feels weird. Like the questions were just so generic really. Like I’m an imposter or something ?

can someone help me make sense of it? Is it normal to feel that way ?

I had a good friend from school who so blatantly had adhd I can’t believe we didn’t spot it; she was around 40 before it was officially diagnosed. No one thought of adhd for girls at my secondary school. She felt relieved and reassured to finally have a formal explanation for a lifetime of “difficulties”.

However I found since starting peri menopause I had a lot more behaviours that tick the adhd boxes. People have actually asked if I have adhd - I definitely don’t!

You feel like a fraud because it is quite easy to misdiagnose and if your behaviours are borderline because you’ve learned to compensate, it might not be clear what’s going on.

We can’t tell you on MN if your diagnosis is correct. But if there has been a lifetime of these behaviours you must have been driven to get tested for a reason. No one would get an adhd test for fun so you must have thought something is “wrong” with me. And if it isn’t adhd then what else could it be?

In your shoes see a healthcare professional to get your hormones tested and check if you would benefit from HRT yet. Don’t neglect that whilst getting caught up in the adhd thing, as menopause is pretty awful and the impact is huge.

How did you get your diagnosis and how long did it take? How do you feel now that you have a diagnosis?

I think I have adhd. I don’t know if it worth getting a diagnosis at 48, or how to go about getting an assessment.

I was diagnosed in my 40s when my DD was diagnosed.

It was more of an aha moment for me, rather than anything I thought too much about. It was having a devastating impact on my daughter but for me it just explained why I could be so scatty and disorganised in my personal life (not emotionally, just forgetting to pay bills, send cards, pay fines for missing bills, leave my coats all over the place, kept keys under a rock and just gave up having them) but so successful and hyper focused in a high pressure job.

I think how it will impact on you will depend on how it affects your life and how it has impacted it so far.

Why were the questions generic, what was your diagnosis process? I have both an ASD and ADHD diagnosis and it was a long assessment process with screening, long questionnaires and face to face assessments where the questions and discussion wasn’t generic.

I went through the right to choose pathway. It took about a month.

I am not sure how I feel about it. It explains a lot though !

What made you pursue a diagnosis in the first place? Does it change anything? Like at work for example

I did answer a lot of questions, but some just seem so situational. Like ‘ are you loud ? ‘- yes I have been told I’m loud and have a loud speaking voice sometimes. Sometimes I’m quiet. Or did your teachers think you were loud as a child ? I’m not sure they thought I was loud as a child.

I was diagnosed with the combined type. I’m definitely not impulsive, but I do feel restless and I fidget a lot.

it just feels weird, the questions are difficult to answer sometimes. Some questions were fine. But others I wasn’t sure. There were just so many questions.

like’ do you feel bored in conversations ‘ - well yeah, when it’s a boring topic.. etc etc

I wanted to understand why I always have to leave everything until the last minute. I cannot get down to work unless there is someone breathing down my neck. I just can’t activate myself until it’s near a deadline or there will be a serious consequence if I don’t do something. I’ve been like this for years. Struggled at school and uni because of this and I still struggle at work. I spend so much of my days procrastinating and I think I could be a lot more successful if I could just get on with it. That’s why I wanted to understand if I have it.

I also struggle in other ways, routines and being consistent with routines. I just can’t do it.

I want to try medication to see if I will be better at work and therefore provide a better further for MH family etc

I got diagnosed in the Easter holidays
Currently on 56 mg of concerta xl
Seems to be going ok