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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does someone not looking at you mean they are lying?

34 replies

nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:40

I have just had a teams call and the person wouldn't look at me and was looking away.

The call was telling me I wasn't successful for a job. I don't know if the stuff they said between it - eg you interviewed well etc, it was just a couple of points between you etc

Could it mean they were lying or it was a difficult conversation for them? Or a bit of both?

OP posts:
Chaotica · 12/05/2026 17:02

nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:43

But it is.

Why? If the camera is in one place and you are on a screen in another direction, they would be looking at you and not the camera. It happens often on Teams. If the person has two screens, the same thing can happen. Even if the camera is directly above the screen, someone's eyes will not always look like they are looking at you. I think you are reading way to much into this.

WonderingWanda · 12/05/2026 17:04

It sounds like they were reading from some notes. I assume you don't believe the reasons they gave and think they were lying. Even if they weren't telling the full truth what difference does it make. You didn't get the job.

incognito1991 · 12/05/2026 17:05

No, I have anxiety and struggle to make eye contact when talking to someone in certain situations, I tend to look at something else

Error404FucksNotFound · 12/05/2026 17:05

Maybe it was just awkward.

ChaosIsTwix · 12/05/2026 17:09

It was Teams 🤣 you're overthinking this. I look at the person on screen not the camera. You would have no idea where they were looking, they might have had another screen they were looking at or writing notes...

HedgeKnights · 12/05/2026 17:10

They were probably looking at you but that isn't the same as looking at the camera, so from your perspective it would look like they were looking away

RACanGoGetFucked · 12/05/2026 18:26

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 12/05/2026 16:42

My mother used to accuse me of lying because I wouldn't look her in the eye and I kept smiling.

I am ND. I was not lying. But I got punished anyway. Perhaps the person just has trouble making and keeping eye contact.

Same.

RACanGoGetFucked · 12/05/2026 18:29

nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:45

Lol no I know this person. They aren't autistic, or should I say this isn't normal for them

Then is could be why, if you’re close enough to them that they’ve told you their medical/personal info then maybe having to tell you that you hadn’t been successful in getting the job was uncomfortable for them and they felt bad for you and were trying to get it over with asap.

TigerRag · 12/05/2026 18:30

Some of us have disabilities which make eye contact (and also in my case I can't look straight ahead) difficult. I have the added issue of having a visible eye condition. I know you can see it and it makes me uncomfortable

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