To think some people don’t want healthy relationships because they require too much accountability?

[PeaceCostsGrowth]

Chaos is easier than growth. Stability exposes the work people avoid.

In a good relationship, both sides have accountability. 👍

100000%

I don't really understand the premise of the thread, TBH. Surely an unhealthy relationship is far more work as it's unpleasant and makes you unhappy, and a healthy one is much easier, as you are just easy together most of the time and you don't think about things like "accountability".

I honestly have no idea what any of this means. Just be a good egg to the people in your life and crack on. There's no great work to be undertaken.

🤖

Oh, thanks.

Another random thread about human behaviours with a three word username.

...which is also the only post from this username.

It's not even funny any more.

Not just that, but people perceived them as bori g when they are used to toxic dynamics 😬

Therapy speak.

I'm not convinced that's right for healthy v unhealthy relationships but I think there's a lot of truth to it for relationships v no relationships.

I can't do relationships. Never had a long term romantic relationship and I'm in my early 40s. I have loads of casual friends but very few (if any) deep, close friendships. I used to want to have a child solo but now don't think I could do a parent-child relationship either. I'm very close to my sister and nephew but those weren't relationships I chose to develop, I had no choice in them. I am obviously hugely grateful to have them or I'd be alone but, at the same time, I'm terrified by how much I love them in case something happens to them. It's so much easier not to have people you love too much. Lonelier. But simpler. You can pretty much do what you want when you want and aren't accountable to anyone.

I think my ex was like this: He didn't want a healthy relationship (not that he was capable of one) because it would then expose the truth that he was a liar, a cheat and a gambling addict. His shady behaviour was 'hidden' because he was so chaotic.

I also think many people have no idea what a healthy relationship looks like or feels like. I sometimes feel what they assume they would be giving up in accountability doesn't actually in reality work like that. When you're both considerate of eachother it's possible to both get the things you want/need. As long as they are healthy and of mutual benefit to the relationship rather than destructive.