To ask for positive stories after family estrangement in your 20s?

[OnePearlTiger]

I don’t mean “everything became perfect overnight” stories. I mean real stories from people who estranged themselves from parents/family in their 20s, went through grief/loneliness/self-doubt, worried they’d never find “their people”, worried no man would truly understand or accept it and worried they’d always be judged for it.

But still eventually built a solid life, found love,
cultivated community/chosen family, maybe got married/had children and genuinely felt more peaceful and emotionally healthier long term.

I’m going through something right now and I think there’s still a stigma around estrangement and sometimes it can feel like everyone else has this big family network while you’re quietly carrying something very heavy in the background.

Would really appreciate hearing from people further down the road who don’t regret choosing peace and boundaries, even though it was painful.

Going NC with my abusive mother was the best decision I ever made. All I will feel when she dies is relief that she can never hurt anyone else ever again.

I am only sad I didn’t go NC earlier.

I became estranged from some members of my family many years ago now. I found it terribly traumatic and I wasn't ok for a while. However, that was some years back. I now accept everything that happened, and everything that led up to it.

I still feel sad when people speak so lovingly about their own family members because I understand that mine aren't capable of support or love.

My life is good now, and my children understand everything about my estranged family members and are ok with it, too. Ultimately, I feel that my estranged family are the ones who have missed out, not me. I think that the situation has made me a better person because I have learned from it and I have an understanding now.

I've been NC for twenty years, and yes at first it was really hard, and an enormous amount of grief and trauma recovery work. But today I'm fine, I have a happy healthy relationship, I have a child and I have an excellent group of friends/chosen family around me.