AIBU to think hospital discharge is unsafe for my elderly parents?

[Biggles27]

Mum (83, mild cognitive impairment diagnosis - we believe it’s dementia as she was last test 2 years ago, on waiting list) is in hospital with pneumonia

she’s very weak, eg they’re washing her daily, she can’t shower. If she holds on she can get to the loo

dads on 2 sticks and a wheelchair. He can get upstairs but takes him approx 15 mins, down even longer. History of falls resulting in significant injury. Mum falls too

Mum wets herself then tries to climb the stairs with wet pants and trousers around her ankles and falls - Dad can’t get her up

both are bad at taking prescription drugs

dad isn’t properly on top of her nutrition (Fortisip) -neither were the hospital till today when I insisted she’d die unless they sorted this out - her bmi is below 18 and they left her without any nutrician for 72 hours - I only found out yesterday - I was taking the Fortisip in - turns out they were serving her real food - which she wasn’t eating - no one was checking. Normally you have to leave for meal times but the weekend nurse didn’t throw me out yesterday and the catering lady said oh she never eats her food. I then found all the unused Fortisip

Anyway they’re sending her home tomorrow - she was still on oxygen this morning.

I’ve explained it’s unsafe but they are insisting she’s fit to go home. She sounds plausible but she’s telling absolute lies - she’s believes she’s telling the truth so it’s not lies as such but it’s not the truth

im terrified as it’s unsafe and they are saying it’s not. I’ve said we need carers before she can come home, they’ve said she can cope. I can’t get them to rethink

im not even free to bring her home till 7pm tomorrow - will they just chuck her out? She has no idea where she is or how to get home

Any ideas? I’m beyond desperate

Thank you for the support and advice. I’ll be following it xx

I've been through this and my Hail Mary was the ambulance driver. I kept saying it was an unsafe discharge. She was in a hospital bed doubly incontinent required 2 people and a hoist to sit up. My dad is in a wheelchair with one leg and severe arthritis but they just wouldn't listen and finally I asked how they planned on getting her into the bungalow. I said there was restricted access (there really isn't but I was desperate) and the hospital agreed to send the driver round first to check. When he rang me to arrange a time to meet I begged him to help. He went to the house spoke to my dad and told the ward it was an unsafe discharge.

If you organise a Social care needs assessment, they will assess what care she (and your Dad) need. They will also do a financial assessment, and will pay towards care if your parents genuinely can't afford to pay.

Make it clear that even if she has temporary downstairs living she will still try going upstairs. That way if the OT assesses her as unsafe for stairs it is another point against her going straight home. It sounds like she needs to be on what is called pathway 2 where she goes into care while increasing her strength.

Best of luck.

Before she is sent home ask for the physios and for them to check - she can walk up and down a flight of stairs at the hospital.
From your description it sounds like she won’t be able to. So therefore isn’t safe to go home.
They could organise an ambulance to bring her home.
There will be a safeguarding team. Maybe contact them too.

I came on to say this.
You may be able to get more care than you think if there is less than around £23,000 in savings .
Are your parents in receipt of attendance allowance ? if not well worth claiming as its not dependant on their income or savings , fill the form in according to how they are on their worse days ,then at the end of the form -(which is very long winded and which i believe is a one size fits all and shouldn't be) in the area where it asks if you have anything to add fill it with how your parents are living, how severe their conditions are affecting all aspects of their life and the demands on your own life.
You will have to 'lay it on thick' with this form , it has been a blessing for my family for my parent with alzheimers , if one of them has a diagnosis of dementia then you can apply for council tax help , 100% rebate .
Don't face this harrowing situation on your own speak to social services emergency service asap.
What have we come to when people are sent home in this state .