AIBU to feel upset that a family member profited from me?

[RainbowStars27]

Bit of a long winded one but bear with.

A few years ago I bought a car off a close family member. We negotiated a price and finally landed on a figure. All fine no issues.

This week, I have found the receipt of when the family member bought the car. (It was in the glove box). She paid less for it than I paid her. Baring in mind, she bought the car 2 years earlier, added many miles and obviously the car aged 2 years.

I feel because it is family, they should have been honest with what they paid and not made a profit out of me. They have argued that that’s what they thought it was worth at the time. (It definitely wasn’t).

yabu: I should have checked what they paid for it and accept my losses.

yanbu: you shouldn’t treat family members like that, they should have been honest and not made a profit from me.

It's not mean.

Second hand car prices rocketed between when we bought our large family car and when dd bought her small first car.
She paid more for her small, older and more miles car than we had for our family car.

If your family member was buying another car, then she would have been paying a lot more for that car too, so may have needed the value to go towards it.
So in effect you are asking your family member to pay towards your car. Would you have said to them that because they bought their car at a cheaper time, they should give you the difference in cash now you were buying a car?
That's effectively what you're saying.

And by buying a car you know you are getting a car that you know the quirks and know it hasn't been in an accident etc which is a valuable bonus.

I'm just here to say that I have never cleaned the glove box of my car. In fact I don't think I've opened it in years.

I had no idea that cleaning glove compartments was even a thing.

There was a period when there was a shortage of cars available for sale (I think shipping and factory delays caused by Covid?), so second hand cars suddenly got more expensive.

I bought second hand in 2021 and paid more than the seller had paid for the car in 2019, but by 2021 that’s what the car was worth.

If she hadn’t sold it to you, she would presumably have sold it to somebody else for that price - you’re saying you don’t think she should profit from you, but by expecting her to sell it to you for less than it’s worth you’re actually expecting her to make a loss for you, which is just the same thing in reverse.

It might have been better to have an open conversation about it (“I paid x, but if you look at all these online lists you can see it’s now worth y, are you happy with that or shall I sell it elsewhere?”) but I don’t think she’s done anything wrong really.

A couple of years ago our 67 plate car was valued more than when we bought it in 2022!

the second hand car market went a bit mad (I don't know if it still is!)

Surely you buy market value for a car and not mates rates? It isn't Vinted 🤣

Well I’m imagining you checked how much they sold for online at least? If not then it’s on you tbh… It’s the first thing most people would do to see if they were being ripped off.

The value of second hand cars is soaring.

I agree OP. I wouldn’t expect sharp practice from a close family member.

But is it sharp practice? I normally times car prices go down.

If you bought a car from a family member and it had depreciated, would you expect to pay what it was worth when they bought it, or what it’s worth now?

I'd definitely be annoyed, I'm with you op. I'm surprised at the responses tbh

Did you check how much the car was worth? Some cars and models hold up second hand prices well and even become desirable, others drop off a cliff. Assuming it was a bargain just because it was from a family member was a mistake. And it nearly always leads to trouble, buying things from family or lending to family. How would you have dealt with it if say the engine had blown up a week after you bought it.

It was a mean trick. I don't think I'd have anything to do with that person again.

A mean trick?

They negotiated and agreed a price, which they were both happy with. As others have said, used car prices can and do change over time. OP was able to search and see if it was a fair price, and if she wasn't happy she didn't need to buy it from the relative.

If a few "A few years ago" means as we came out of covid, the second hand car market went silly because of lack of supply in the new car market, and it's perfectly possible that the car was worth more than she paid for it by the time you bought it. You obviously thought it was.

I think it was fine if she wanted to sell for the highest price she could, but I think when selling to family I probably would say that I bought it cheaper but want to sell for current market value, so if OP doesn’t want it at that price I can list it elsewhere.

I find it strange that the person selling the car didn’t seem to have cleaned out the glove box rather than OP.

I don't think I've ever cleared out the glove box in any car I've ever owned, unless it was to sell it.

So I'd have found the receipt if I was the relative selling, but not as OP, until I came to sell.

What do you put in there that needs cleaning out? Mine has the manual and a pen.

Thats exactly what I was thinking, nearly new cars were going for more than new because of how long it was taking to get new cars.

Which in turn pulled the price of older second hand cars up.

I think many MNers are naturally just quite selfish people tbh.

I’d never do such a thing to a friend or family member and I’m glad there are other people who feel the same too.

My oldest have just sold his car he’s had for 3 years put 50k miles on for more than he paid for it

Selfish? For selling something for the price it's worth.

I can't imagine there are many who would choose to miss out on hundreds or possibly thousands of pounds. Especially when both parties were happy to pay the price agreed.

@RainbowStars27 your relative may have needed to spend money on the car after they'd bought it? Either way you must have thought it was worth the price or you wouldn't have bought it.
We once sold a car to a friend though that isn't something we'd normally do in case of problems. We disclosed that we'd had a problem with it which we'd had fixed and they said that was fine, they wouldn't hold it against us if it happened again - which of course it did. We're still friends.

I can see both sides of this and I think where the seller has gone wrong has to not be open about it. They should’ve told you the background and given you the choice.

But you also can’t expect them to sell it to you at below market value, when they need to buy a new car themselves.

A stranger, then yes I’d want what it’s worth.

A family member, I would be happy to just get back what I paid for it.

Why would you not give your family member the best deal possible.

I can’t imagine ever being so selfish and money grabbing to do such a thing.

The second hand car market can be weird, especially with the electric cars now and new cars being so hideously expensive. We got way more than we thought we’d get for my old car and that was selling to an actual garage. I wouldn’t necessarily guarantee that you weren’t paying a fair price?

What car was it and how much?

That woukd be the same as just randomly giving a family member the difference in cash. Would you do that?

If the car had appreciated in value, which it must have or during the course of negotiations OP would surely have spotted that the price was wrong, then what she was buying to replace it would also have increased in price.