Feel like 'failing' to consider adhd medication

[NDmummmy2026x]

Im 28, diagnosed with adhd February. Mum of 2 kids, 4 and 2. So things are chaos anyway

But I've been really struggling for a while with forgetfulness and concentrating which got me to the gp last August. Impuslivity is a big issue too.

So fast forward to today, we go away to our family centre parcs holiday. I checked the weather on the weekend to try and be organised. It said sunny clear and about 17 degrees, so I pack light stuff for the kids. Tops shorts, football kit for my son too etc

Weather has changed its going to be about 11-15 degrees and some rain bouts. I completely forgot to re check the weather even this morning. I was in such a tizz leaving, I forgot to pack bloody jackets!! Luckily the shop here sells tresspass ones so I've got them extra , DD has 2 outfits with leggings, DS has shorts but may buy a hoodie too as I feel fucking awful and like a failure

I forgot my phone charger and water bottles too. Not as bad but I always forget things and lose things

I feel so chaotic and stressed all of the time and it wa when the kids were playing just before bed I sat and thought I may need medication now

I feel like things are piling up and even when I've got the kids on my days off , im struggling to stick to tasks. I'll okay, get up brush the floor, go play again. Get up do dishes. Go play ask should we go out. Run out for nothing we need just to get out, come home and bounce between activities

My concentration is shot i feel like a box of frogs

But then feel like a failure? Which is odd. For asking for medication????

I dont think anyone who takes adhd medication is but its a weird feeling in dont know why I feel like this. Maybe because I thought I could get on top of it?

I dont knoe

Just get the meds and ideally an ADHD coach (you can sometimes get these funded through Access to work.)
Are you the type to avoid paracetamol when you have a headache and temp?
You have a diagnosed condition and a potentially life changing medication option (it’s not always straightforward but can be transformative for people.) What has failure got to do with it?

It does sound very stressful and I understand about the ADHD.

Just checking that you are a single parent?

No im married x

I dont know why I feel this way maybe because I thought I could get on top of things myself xx

If you were asthmatic I’m sure you’d take your inhaler to help your breathing. If you had a headache you’d take something to make it easier & go away, what’s so different about these meds? They are there to help you if you need it- it’s not a failure x

I feel I have some understanding of your situation. I have a family member who takes meds when needed. Meds help but are not a magic cure.

I second the ADHD coach and Access to Work.

That said 2 & 4 are very demanding ages of children and your OP sound like you're going on holiday solo. What did DH do to get the family ready for the holiday? Is he aware and understanding of your condition? Can he support you to feel more on top of things at home. It is unneccesary stress if DH doesn't pull his weight.

Well, the logical conclusion to your argument is that the whole NHS and pharmacy network of shops is totally not needed as people can over come stuff on their own, if only they try a bit harder.
Or not.

I've spoken to 4 adults who have been recently diagnosed with and medicated for ADHD. They a say it is life changing and they wish they had done it years ago.

Just try the medication. If it doesn't work, try a different one. It can take a while to find what works for you. It's not failing to take medication for a medical condition.

ADHD here 👋🏻 I know all these feelings - and the dread when you’ve think you’ve been on top of things and then realise you’ve forgotten half of it!

Take the meds definitely, to see if they help. For me getting coaching type help and developing strategies and systems was my saviour (they helped with work and home.)

I think one key thing is being forgiving of yourself - everyone forgets things and parenting can be chaotic. I think ADHDers can be especially hard on ourselves when we mess up.

Exactly this.

Don’t be so hard on yourself! ADHD or not people forget stuff! I’ve done this very thing myself! You are doing it alone so there’s the problem. Go have a nice time and if anyone’s cold ask THEM if they thought to pack coats or check weather!

ADHD medication is not like antidepressants in that you need to build them up in your system or wean off them, they literally work for a maximum of 12 hours (if you are lucky!). Try them and if it doesn’t work you’ll be back to normal the next day!

I understand how you feel and have been similar, I really struggle taking meds full stop, it doesn’t matter which condition it’s for, but I think part of it for me was a deep inner belief that I’m not worthy of self care but adhd meds I think part of me sees it as admitting I’m useless and stupid. I grew up with adults telling me I’m stupid, clueless, thick, “too much” “hard work” on a daily basis and I’m mid 40s now and it still stays with me. Everytime I mistake I have my inner monologue repeating all the things my mother called me but I’m at a pint now where I can see, lm failing myself and those around me by not trying meds. My dd is grown now but she talks about how stressful and anxious she’d feel in a school morning watching by me get myself worked up and always rushing. The chronic severe stress had fucked my nervous and immune system up and I’m now disabled which comes with a whole other set of issues, I wish so badly I could turn back time and get help years ago instead of letting shame stop me.

If you’re wanting to try meds I’d get the ball rolling as soon as you can, I was diagnosed via right to choose and it’s a ten month wait for titration, one of dh friend was diagnosed years ago but didn’t want meds at the time, now he does and he has an even longer wait for titration on the nhs.